Film and Screen
by jennamarie
Summary: Warnings: Beware of extreme insanity! fluff, sap, crack, tsuoka, possibly upcoming tatari! Scene 18 up! I'm still here! Doctors warning: Silliness and bad spelling are contagious!
1. Chapter 1

The idea for this story originally came from my sister (babypeacewriter) who is almost as Yami obsessed as I am, and although she is writing her own fic from this idea, she has given me her blessing to go ahead and write this story. (Thank God! It just wouldn't leave me alone!) Oddly enough we even gave our fics the same title (with no prior consultation) so I changed mine. The stories themselves are very different.

So I don't own anything. Not Yami, not the idea, zip.

Any and all responses are welcome.

Anything written in _italics_ is the film that is being watched. Everything else is live. (So to speak)

For Li-chan with luv.

**Scene 1**

"A training film?" Two voices questioned in unison.

Tatsumi Seiichiro gazed at the pair seated in front of his desk. Cool jade eyes regarded him with skepticism. Violet eyes sparked with enthusiasm.

"Sugoi! Soka-chan, we get to be in a movie!" Tsuzuki Asato proclaimed.

Kurosaki Hisoka regarded his partner with incredulity. "Baka." He muttered under his breath.

"The purpose of this film is to help new shinigami adjust to life at Ju On Chou. Tsuzuki was chosen to be in it because he is warm, friendly, personable, charming and amusing. Kurosaki-kun was chosen because……. um….." Tatsumi floundered.

Hisoka raised an eyebrow.

Somewhere in the hallway a light bulb flashed.

Suddenly Tatsumi smiled. "Kurosaki-kun was chosen because he is our most recent addition here at Enma-Cho."

"This is a dumb idea." Hisoka complained. "There was no training film when I became a Shinigami, and I didn't have any problems!"

"You tried to shoot your partner on your first day."

Hisoka didn't even hesitate "He deserved it."

"Soka! Hidoi!"

Hisoka turned to glare at his partner, but he couldn't hold the expression on his face. He smiled. "But you love me anyways right?"

Tsuzuki smiled back "Always." He leaned over and kissed Hisoka on the forehead.

Tatsumi struggled to control his gag reflex.

"So." He said, bringing the couples attention back to him, "The camera crew should be arriving around noon. That gives you," He checked his watch. "Two hours to finish the paperwork from your last case, clean up your office, sweep up the sakura petals, wax my car, clean the gutters…"

The pair decided that it was time to beat a hasty retreat from Tatsumi's office.

They had almost made it to the door when it was flung open and their path to freedom was blocked by a collection of the most disreputable looking men they had ever seen. They were unkept, unshaven, unbrushed, unwashed, uncouth, unpleasant, and just plain ungh.

"Make way! Move your butt! Coming through!" A high pitched squeaky voice cried out.

A short squat bald man with no hair pushed to the front of the undesirable group. Atop his head there was perched an odd red cap. Around his neck was a large sign that said THE DIRECTOR.

"Never mind them." He said waving his hand at the group behind him. "Non-union labor."

THE Director's eyes skimmed quickly over Hisoka, totally ignored Tatsumi and came to rest on Tsuzuki.

"Ah my star!"

'Star?' Hisoka thought to himself. 'Who the hell is this guy?'

'He's THE DIRECTOR' thought Tatsumi in reply. 'Didn't you see the sign?'

'When the hell did you become a telepath?' Hisoka thought back.

Tatsumi shrugged and proceeded to throw everyone out of his office. Just before he managed to close the door on the last straggler, Goshushin flew inside ranting.

"Thief! Thief! Someone's gotta find him!"

"What is it Goshushin?" Tatsumi asked wearily.

"A short squat bald man with no hair ran into the library and stole may hat!"

**XXX**

An elegant man sat on an overstuffed couch in a darkened room. Before him was a large blank movie screen. Beside him sat a short squat bald man with no hair, wearing a large sign that proclaimed him THE DIRECTOR.

"Well Sir," THE DIRECTOR said. "The film is ready to view, and in some areas, like the beginning, we have already added the narration, but the film still needs to be edited. Most of what you'll see is raw footage."

"That's fine." Said the elegant man. "Show me."

The short squat bald man with no hair got up and flicked on a projector, then returned to his seat.

_Upon the screen the image of a building appeared and a dull boring monotone voice that has been in every training film since the 1950's was addressing the viewers._

"_Welcome to Meifu, new Shinigami. In this film we will take you through the in and outs of Shinigami life. We will also show you what to expect from day to day as a productive member of Enma-Cho."_

_The camera panned across the building and focused on a tall, lean man standing in front of the doors. The camera zoomed in on a warm, open smile and sparking violet eyes._

"_This is Tsuzuki Asato, a long time employee of Shokon division, and he will be showing us what goes on inside the walls of Enma-Cho. He will be our companion for the next eight hours."_

"Of course we have much more that eight hours worth of footage." THE DIRECTOR interrupted, "Watching everything will probably take several days."

The elegant man nodded, not taking his attention from the screen.

_The camera followed Tsuzuki through the doors of Enma-Cho and down a long hallway, offering several close ups of the man's backside along the way._

"Nice camera work." The elegant man noted.

_Tsuzuki stopped in front of a door and turned to face the camera. "This is Shokan division, where you will be working as a Shinigami. We are about to enter the main offices and people are working here, so please be considerate."_

_Tsuzuki opened the door and went through. The camera panned the room. There were several people seated at various desks, writing, typing on computers, looking busy. Several looked up and greeted Tsuzuki who waved and grinned. Tsuzuki led the camera down to a closed office and knocked on the door. An older, if slightly grouchy looking man in a blue suit answered. Tsuzuki gestured to the man._

"_This is Kanoe-katchu. He will be the guiding force in your life here at Enma-Cho. He…um..well he…"_

_Kanoe glared at Tsuzuki, glared at the camera and retreated into his office, closing the door. The sound on the camera picked up his muttering. "Lazy lug about, now he has another reason to slack off….."_

_The camera zoomed in to catch Tsuzuki's blush_

"_Well, if you'll come this way," Tsuzuki led the camera back down the hall. Another man was coming from the other direction. He had long blonde hair gathered haphazardly into a ponytail and merry amber eyes that shone with amusement. _

"_Hey Tsuzuki!"_

"_This is Watari Yutaka." Tsuzuki said addressing the camera. "He is our resident scientist, sometimes our doctor and is a genius with…pretty much everything."_

_Watari grinned and waved at the camera. "Hi mom!"_

_As Tsuzuki continued down the hall with the camera in tow, he whispered. "Don't eat or drink anything if you notice Watari hanging around."_

_Tsuzuki stopped at another door. "This is Tatsumi's office. I would take you in to see him, but he's scary."_

"_You were saying, Tsuzuki-san?"_

_Tsuzuki jumped. "Ah.. Konichi-wa Tatsumi-san!" He turned to the camera. "This is Tatsumi Seiichiro. He is the secretary of Shokan division. He is a hard worker and a slave driver." _

_Tatsumi gave him a look that would have frozen lava before walking into his office._

"_See! I told you he was scary!"_

_Tsuzuki gestured to the rest of the room. "Over there you have Wakaba and Terazuma. Wakaba's a sweetheart and she can cook! Terazuma is just a pain. And over there by the window are Saya and Yuma. They're just visiting today, they're in charge of Hokkaido Region. And somewhere around here should be my partner…." Tsuzuki trailed off, looking around the room "Where is he? Hey! Wakaba, have you seen Hisoka?"_

"_Aa. He was sick earlier and Tatsumi let him go home."_

_Tsuzuki's eyes widened "Hisoka's sick?"_

_Terazuma spoke up "Yeah. The kid was looking pretty bad."_

_Tsuzuki failed to notice the evil grin that touched Terazuma lips._

"_Gottagowecandothistomorrow!" Tsuzuki called as he ran from the room leaving a grey cloud of worry in his wake._

"_Hey!" A high pitched squeaky voice called out. "You can't go! We're rolling! The camera turned slightly to show a short squat bald man with no hair pursuing the nearly panicking man at a fast waddle. The odd red cap on his head slid back and forth with each step. Moments after the short squat bald man with no hair was out of sight a floating chicken went zooming across the screen._

"_My hat…..!"_

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

Alright. I have two characters that come into this chapter. Their names are Ernie and Bert. These characters are in no way related, inspired by or affiliated with any puppets or any popular children's shows. Their names are purely coincidental. Bert is named for a boyfriend I had in kindergarten. Ernie is named after my dog.

Also, Tsuzuki and Hisoka are an establihed relationship in this fic, I may not have mentioned that in the first scene (on purpose! I did it on purpose!)

Aparently I hadn't had enough caffeine when I wrote the first scene. I've fixed that problem, this scene's worse.

Enjoy! (and please review!)

**Scene 2**

Tsuzuki snuggled up to his partner who lay in the bed like a ton of bricks. He had come bursting into their apartment the day before to find the love of his life sprawled out on the bed, somewhat coherent, muttering to himself about Watari, painful death and orange juice.

Once he understood what had happened, Tsuzuki had calmed considerably and spent the rest of the evening tending to his partner.

Raising himself on one elbow he studied the still sleeping face beside him, and was pleased to note that Hisoka's complexion no longer matched his eyes.

Which were open and looking back at him.

"Baka! Quit staring at me."

Ah, the dulcet tones of his beloved.

Tsuzuki reculantly climbed out of bed. "Breakfast?"

Hisoka's face regained a greenish tinge at the thought of food. "No food. We can stop and pick you up something on the way to work. I don't think I could handle cooking this morning."

"I could fix myself something." Tsuzuki said sounding mildly affronted.

"Asato, I love you. Too much to risk you eating your own cooking."

Tsuzuki pulled a suit out of the closet and laid it on the bed while he tried to decide whether he was insulted or pleased by Hisoka's comment. Finally he gave up.

"I'm going to hop in the shower." He flashed the younger man an evil grin. "Feel like joining me?"

Hisoka blushed, but nodded.

**(Sometime later)**

For some reason Hisoka was in a bad mood as he and Tsuzuki entered their office. Tsuzuki was happily munching on a donut, a box containing the remainder of a dozen tucked under his arm.

"I'm going to go see if Watari wants a donut, you want me to bring you back a coffee or anything?"

"No, I'll get my own in a bit."

Tsuzuki waved with his partially eaten donut and left the room leaving the door open.

Moments after he left, the unwelcome and unwanted camera crew thundered passed the open door in the direction he had gone. One of the crew stopped briefly to wink at Hisoka who growled in response.

Enough was enough. Hisoka stalked out of the room and headed for Tatsumi's office. He had to convince the man to put a stop to this.

"You want Tsuzuki-san to wear that? Tatsumi asked incredulously.

Tatsumi was outside his office door staring at a man with what appeared to be several years' worth of stubble growing out of his face (especially his eyebrows), holding approximately 6 cents worth of gold colored material. The also seemed to be two gold bracelets, a gold collar, and a mess of fine gold chain.

"Well, he agreed to wear a costume."

"Is that real gold? How in Enma's name were you able to afford that for a training film?"

The stubbly man, whose name was Bert, grinned. "We have a sponsor."

Tatsumi gave Bert a speculative look. "Well, if you want Tsuzuki-san to wear that, I have one piece of advice for you."

Bert looked stupid. "What's that?"

"Stay away from small blondes."

Bert gave him a questioning, but still pretty stupid look. Tatsumi pointed behind him.

Bert turned around and saw Hisoka who was spitting flames of rage.

Hisoka reached out and grabbed the baseball bat that for some unknown reason was conveniently leaning against the wall in the middle of the hall and advanced on Bert.

Bert, showing he did in fact posses a minimal amount of intelligence sensed the threat to his continued existence and ran for his life.

Hisoka pursued, but Bert had longer legs and began to pull away.

"I can still get you, you shmuck." Hisoka muttered and struck out with his empathy.

**(Even later)**

Tsuzuki and Hisoka sat together in a small café on Chiju where they had gone to escape the ever present camera crew.

"They wanted me to wear what?"

"It was really tiny and really gold."

"When THE DIRECTOR asked me if I'd wear a costume, I never thought it would be something like that!"

Hisoka grimaced. "I want to know what kind of training film this is if they wanted you to wear a collar and manacles."

"So what happened to the costume?'

Hisoka started to blush. "Well, um, I….I kinda took it home."

Tsuzuki goggled at him. "You what!"

"Well, you may as well see if it fits!"

**XXX**

The elegant man returned to his seat with a full glass of wine.

"Are you ready?" Asked the short squat bald man with no hair wearing a sign that said THE DIRECTOR.

The elegant man waved his hand in a continuing gesture as he took a sip of the wine. The short squat bald man with no hair restarted the projector.

_A door opened and the camera was showing the inside of a bedroom. There was an unmade bed against one wall with a suit lying across it. A night table stood beside the bed. There were two watches on it, an open book, face down, and a pile of black hair. A wig? Two dressers stood across the room. One held a number of framed pictures, the other a multitude of stuffed toys and a box of cookies._

_From behind another closed door came the sound of running water and rather loud off-key singing, occasionally punctuated by giggles._

_"He giggles to himself in the shower?" Came a voice from off camera._

_"Alright." Spoke a high squeaky voice. "The narration will go something like this. Ahem, as a member of Shikon division you are a reprehensive of Enma Dia Oh, and must always look the part. Proper dress and grooming is essential."_

_The camera focused on the bed and the neatly pressed suit resting there._

_There was the sound of a door opening and the camera swung back to show a slight blonde figure dripping wet with a towel wrapped around his waist closing the door behind him. He stopped dead at the sight of almost a dozen unsightly men crowding his formerly empty (and private) bedroom._

_The camera zoomed in on his feet and slowly tracked its way up to face. His mouth was open and his emerald green eyes were wide with shock._

_The scene jostled and a voice hissed. "Ernie, you're drooling."_

_The camera swung up to the ceiling for a moment, and then returned to the blonde. "Sorry," a gritty voice answered "but would you look at that!"_

The elegant man chuckled softly. "I think your cameraman has a crush on the boy."

"That's Ernie." THE DIRECTOR sighed. "Yeah. He had a pretty big crush on him."

"Had?"

"Well, we still haven't found him."

"What happened?" The elegant man questioned.

"Humm, you see, he kinda……it's hard to explain. Well, it's later on in the film, why don't you wait and see for yourself."

The elegant man shrugged and turned his attention back to the film.

_The blonde's eyes had narrowed and he reached out for a weapon. His hand fell on a framed picture and he threw it at the unwashed hoard. There was a cry of pain from off camera. He started throwing things in earnest with both hands. Anything he could reach. Pictures, toys, the lamp, dresser drawers, his towel, bowling bowls, carpet samples, anything._

_There was a flurry of noise from behind the camera and the sound of people running away. A drinking glass flew at the camera and the screen went dark._

_After a moment the screen lightened and showed a new scene. The camera bounced erratically as it followed a familiar figure down a hallway._

_"Mr. Tsuzuki! Mr. Tsuzuki!" Cried out a high pitched squeaky voice. "Could I speak to you for a moment?"_

_The figure turned and smiled nervously. "What do you want?"_

_A short squat bald man with no hair came into the cameras' range as he approached Tsuzuki. He adjusted the odd red cap on his head. "We were wondering if you would be willing to wear a costume for the next set of scenes."_

_"Um, I guess that would be alright."_

_"Wonderful!"_

_The short squat bald man with no hair pointed of camera. "You go get the costume and we'll meet you, um, where were you going Mr. Tsuzuki?_

_"Watari's lab."_

_"Yes, there."_

_The two men continued down the hall with the camera in tow._

"So did he wear the little 'ensemble' I got for him?" The elegant man asked.

"No." THE DIRECTOR answered, "And I've been meaning to ask you about that. The man who went to get it, um, Bort or Bert, or something like that. Either way, what's his face ran into the boy and the boy seemed to take exception to the costume. You told me he was an Empath?"

"Yes."

"Well, what's his face now seems to believe that he's a canary. No one seems to be able to convince him otherwise. He just sits around chirping all day. Can an empath do that?"

"Who knows? What happened to the costume?"

"Who knows?"

_The two men stopped at a door and Tsuzuki knocked. "Hey Watari! Are you in there?"_

_"Yup!" A cheerful voice called out. "Come on in."_

_Tsuzuki pushed open the door and went inside. The camera followed._

_"I got donuts!"_

_Watari set down a test tube near a Bunsen burner and bounced over. "Great! I skipped breakfast this morning, and I'm famished!" He took the box from Tsuzuki and examined the contents. "Alright! Chocolate sprinkles!" Watari picked out his choice and took a large bite._

_"Hey Watari?"_

_"Mumph?"_

_"Is that supposed to bubble like that?" Tsuzuki pointed to the test tube that Watari had set down. It was now bubbling like crazy and emitting orange and blue sparks._

_"Hit the deck!" Watari cried._

_The camera lurched and for a moment offered a wonderful view of the floor. Then there was a flash and the screen went dark for a second time._

**XXX**

(A/N) Did anyone notice? I'm so sorry (I'm so warped), I just had to stick it in there, right in the middle, it flew. If anyone noticed, please let me know. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, you probably didn't notice.


	3. Chapter 3

Well, here is the third scene. The fourth will be done soon, then the long waits may start since I've started another fic. (I am suprised at how much I enjoy writing these!)

As alway, I own zip.

So without further ado...

**Scene 3**

"You can borrow my hat brother."

Gushoshin looked at Gushoshin. "Thank you for the offer brother, but I want my own hat back! That mad man, THE DIRCTOR stole it right off my head!"

Gushoshin put a hand on his hat and tried not to imagine it happening to him too. He was rather attached to his hat as well.

"If you want it back so much, why don't you just go get it?" Tarazuma called out for the other side of the break room where he was pouring himself a cup of coffee.

"I tried that." Gushoshin informed him in a watery voice, "But he waddles really fast for a short squat bald man with no hair!" He turned back to Gushoshin. "Let's go see Tatsumi-san again, if he won't help, I swear I'll do something drastic!

Terazuma heard that comment as he passed by. "Just don't lay an egg."

Gushoshin sent the man an evil poultry glare.

**(Sometime later)**

Tatsumi was having a bad day.

First of all, the normally somewhat organized and occasionally productive offices of Enma-Chou were overrun by their unwelcome guests. Unwanted and unsolicited they ran the halls in herds, carrying cameras, microphones, lights, and when they could catch him Tsuzuki.

Who was his second problem. He couldn't find the man anywhere. Hisoka was also conspicuously absent, though to be fair, he had seen the young empath earlier running from THE DIRECTOR and about half a dozen makeup, hair and wardrobe people. Tatsumi shuttered, thank Emna no one expected him to be in that film! The shadows around him quivered at the thought.

But he still needed to find Tsuzuki and Hisoka, a case had come in for the Kyushu pair.

Then there was his third problem. Gushoshin was threatening to go on strike if he didn't get his hat back.

His final, well, not final, but most pressing problem was currently bouncing on his desk.

"You blew up the lab again!"

"Yup!" Amber eyes regarded him, unabashed. "I just need a small increase in my budget. Enough to replace what was damaged."

"So what was damaged?"

"Um, two walls, part of the ceiling, a table, two chairs, some chemicals and beakers, the gas line that feeds the Bunsen burners, and two cameramen."

"Watari…" Tatsumi's voice was low and threatening.

Blonde hair bobbed with every bounce as the man continued. "I made an estimate as to how much it will cost to put everything to rights." He handed Tatsumi a neatly typed sheet of paper.

The secretary skimmed it over and nearly had a coronary at the total figure at the bottom of the page.

He was definitely having a bad day.

**(Later and somewhere else)**

Hisoka sat at his desk with his head resting on his arms, a slight frown marred his features. Tsuzuki perched on the corner of his desk running his fingers through the corn silk hair.

"Head ache?"

"Yeah, a bit, and playing hide and go seek with those nutty camera guys hasn't helped much."

Tsuzuki grinned devilishly, "I don't think staying up most of last night helped a whole lot either."

Hisoka turned crimson "Probably not, but that was fun." He cracked his eyes open. "I wonder how they managed to get that thing in the right size."

Tsuzuki shrugged. "Who knows, who cares." He looked at his watch. "Everyone should have headed home by now, why don't you go up to the roof and sit in the sun for a while, while there still is some. I'll finish up what needs to be done here." Tsuzuki had introduced Hisoka to the fine art of sunbathing, and his partner had found he really enjoyed the experience. He found it soothing.

Hisoka nodded slightly. "Are you sure you're okay here?"

"I'm fine. I'll just write any old thing, Tatsumi can't read my writing anyway."

Hisoka sighed and shook his head, heading for the door.

"Wait!"

He turned in time to catch a small bottle that Tsuzuki tossed to him.

"We don't want a repeat of last time, lobsters don't cook that red!"

Hisoka checked the bottle. Sunscreen. "Thanks." He waved the bottle at his partner. "Come and get me when you're done."

Only a few minutes after Hisoka had left the room Tsuzuki heard the unmistakable sound of a perverted mind passing by the office.

He went to the door and looked out to see one of the uncouth and unhygienic masses heading up the stairs after his partner carrying a camera.

With a frown on his face, Tsuzuki followed.

**XXX**

_The camera focused on the door leading into the offices of Enma-cho. The door opened and a young looking girl with curly brown hair and mismatched eyes walked in, followed closely by a man with red eyes and pointed ears. Some time passed before the door opened again and a tall man with long blonde hair in a lab coat walked in and waved at the camera._

_For a long time the camera focused on the door. Finally it opened a third time and a small slender blonde stepped through, looking behind him at a taller man with chocolate brown hair and stunning violet eyes. _

_The camera moved in for a close up as the violet eyes shifted from the younger man and focused on the camera and widened_

_There was a groan, and the camera moved downwards to reveal a pair of green eye now also focused on the camera._

_The scene pulled back to include both men just in time to see the taller man grab the arm of the smaller and run away._

The elegant man looked away from the screen and turned to the short squat bald man with no hair beside him. "It appears that dear Tsuzuki-san is losing his taste for stardom."

THE DIRCTOR shrugged. "I blame the boy personally."

_The scene jostled then began to follow the fleeing pair bouncing wildly. Other men began to appear in the scene also pursuing the couple. One man got close and grabbed hold of the taller man's jacket. All three men went tumbling to the ground and the scene stopped bouncing._

"_I didn't think we were filming today!" Tsuzuki cried as a group of men lifted him bodily and carried him back towards the building._

"_Bring the boy as well" said a high squeaky voice in the background. The camera swung back to the other blonder man._

"_Run for it Hisoka!" Tsuzuki's voice called out, growing more distant._

_Wide green eyes regarded the camera for only a moment before the slender figure took flight._

"_Man he's fast!" Came the comment off camera, as the followed the rapidly departing form, followed by almost a dozen men, including THE DIRECTOR. The scene turned and returned to the flailing figure of Tsuzuki bobbing almost six feet in the air, supported by over a dozen unwashed, unappreciated hands. There was some trouble and confusion getting through the door way and for several minutes Tsuzuki was suspended completely upside down._

"_Put me down before you kill me!"_

"_I thought you were already dead!" Called back one of the soundmen._

_But mercy was taken and Tsuzuki was set on his feet. Taking advantage of his momentary freedom, he bolted._

"_Get him!" The cry rang up from the crew._

_The camera panned the room, but Tsuzuki was gone._

THE DIRECTOR stood up. "If you don't mind I'll forward it through this next little bit."

"Why?" The elegant man questioned.

"Well, the crew shot several hours worth of opening doors, cupboards, looking under desks, I think the most interesting thing that got on the film was when one guy checked the bathroom and that guy with the pointy ears was in there."

The elegant man chuckled softly. "Very well, as you see fit. Where will you pick it up?"

THE DIRECOR stroked his bald chin thoughtfully. "Humm, well you wanted to see what happened to Ernie right?"

"Indeed."

"Okay then." THE DIRECTOR rolled the film forward until he hit the right scene, and then turned the projector back on.

_The scene moved quickly up a narrow stairway, bouncing slightly. Off camera was the sound of quiet manic giggling. A door came into view ahead and a hand from behind the camera appeared to turn the knob._

_The giggling subsided as the door opened slowly and the scene moved out into an open area. The camera spun around wildly for a moment, showing sky, then roof. Finally the scene was covered by broad leaves. The leaves pushed aside as the camera moved forward, and focused a short distance away on a blonde figure sitting cross-legged on a bamboo mat._

_Hisoka sat with his shirt folded neatly beside him. Pouring sunscreen into his cupped hand, he spread the cream over his arms and as far down his back as he could reach._

"_I could help you with that!" The unwarranted comment was whispered huskily off camera accompanied by the sound of heavy drooling. The camera zoomed in for a close up._

"_What the hell do you think you're doing?" Hissed a much more familiar voice. _

_The camera whipped around to show two normally violet eyes, darkened to a near indigo with rage, emitting purple sparks._

"Fantastic." Muttered the elegant man appreciatively.

_The camera lurched and spun crazily before it hit the ground. Two pairs of feet came into view, one suspended several inches above the ground. There were several muted thuds, two pows, and a klonk, and the camera spun around again, coming to rest once again on the blonde empath who had gained his feet, and was looking questioningly towards the camera seeking the source of the noise._

"_Tsuzuki?" He called out tentatively._

_There was a soft popping sound, followed by another one._

"_Is that you?"_

_The scene shifted one more time to reveal a very satisfied looking Tsuzuki, and then it turned and showed an extreme close up of the ground before going black._

"He broke the camera I take it"

THE DIRECTOR nodded. "Yup. Smashed it to smithereens. Fortunately Ernie had a live feed hooked up, so we still got the footage."

The elegant man smiled "My dear Tsuzuki-san is so passionate. You say you never found that cameraman?"

"Not yet." THE DIRECTOR replied, "But we're not looking too hard. If we find him we'll have to pay him."

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

Umm... Sorry, I don't know what I was thinking!

**Scene 4**

"You're still angry." Hisoka commented mildly, as if trying to offset his partner's silent fuming.

"Why aren't you?" Tsuzuki questioned darkly "I'd have thought you'd be furious!"

Hisoka shrugged. "I don't need to be, you're mad enough for both of us, I can feel it."

The pair continued on their way to work in silence, Tsuzuki still fuming beneath a little black cloud that threatened to scorch his head with the occasional bursts of lightning it let off, Hisoka fighting to keep a grin from finding its way to his lips. He was rather pleased with his partner's display of protectiveness and jealousy, but he'd be dammed before he'd admit it.

Tatsumi was waiting for them outside Ju On Cho. "Tsuzuki-san, Kurosaki-kun." He nodded to each in turn.

"Ohyio Tatsumi-san, um, why aren't you inside?" Hisoka asked.

Tsuzuki, still enjoying his funk remained silent.

"I was inside yesterday and I wasn't able to have a word with you all day. I thought it might be prudent to head you off at the pass, so to speak." Tatsumi said, eyeing Tsuzuki and his little black cloud speculatively.

Hisoka nodded, blushing faintly, "Well, we were busy yesterday"

Tsuzuki funked in agreement.

Tatsumi deftly sidestepped a lightening bolt. "So I noticed. But the two of you have a case."

Tsuzuki visibly brightened, Hisoka looked almost thrilled "On Chiju?"

"Of course. " Tatsumi confirmed. "I'll expect to see you both in the briefing room in twenty minutes."

"A case!" Hisoka sounded almost gleeful "No camera crew!"

"Don't get your hopes up Kurosaki-kun, I'm not having that undignified and unmannered hoard running all over Enma-Cho while you're gone. They're going with you."

"No!" Hisoka stepped back in disbelief.

"THE DIRECTOR insisted. He said that solving cases is what a Shinigami does and must be included in the training film."

"How can you possibly expect us to work a case with a dozen cameras in our faces?" Hisoka questioned, desperately flailing for a reason to leave the film makers behind.

"I have every confidence in your abilities Kurosaki-kun." Tatsumi grinned evilly, looking forward to a few days of peace, quiet and productive work.

Tsuzuki resumed his funk, the little black cloud growing in size.

**(Much, much later)**

It had been a very, very long and exhausting day.

Tsuzuki and Hisoka found their way to the hotel room that Tatsumi had reserved for them, followed by the ever-present camera crew. The room was cheap but serviceable, putting it one step up from the type of places where Tatsumi usually dumped them.

"What do you think you're doing?" Hisoka asked the dozen or so men comprising the filming crew as they followed the pair into their room. "Go to your own rooms, we're going to bed."

"We are staying here." Came a high squeaky voice as a short squat bald man with no hair pushed his way forward. THE DIRECTOR looked up at Hisoka.

"The hell you are!" Hisoka shot back. He briefly considered asking his partner to summon Suzaku and toast the unruly bunch, but realized that Tsuzuki probably wouldn't. Especially after lunch…

"We're staying." Said THE DIRECTOR determinedly.

"Fine." Hisoka turned and picked up his duffle bag and walked into the bathroom. There was a faint 'click' as he locked the door.

Oddly enough, as soon as the bathroom was unavailable, at least half of those present realized they really had to go. It didn't take long before a line of dancing, bouncing and jiggling men formed outside the bathroom door.

It fell to Tsuzuki to finally knock on the door. "Hisoka? Are you coming out soon?"

"Are they still there?" Hisoka's voice came out through the bathroom door.

"Well, um… yes."

"No."

"Now see here young man," Interrupted a high squeaky voice. "Other people need to use the faculties."

"Use the one in the lobby." Came Hisoka's reply.

"But there's no shower there!" The high squeaky voice pointed out.

"Like any of you plan to wash anyway!"

"Get out of there!"

"No!"

"I said get out!"

"Do you need to use the bathroom?"

"Yes!"

"Good!"

There was the unmistakable sound of running water.

Several pairs of eyes widened, followed by the sound of thundering feet as a dancing, bouncing, jiggling hoard of men descended on the lobby.

**XXX**

_The scene opened on a large square table, around which sat Tsuzuki, Hisoka, Watari, Tatsumi, Kanoe, and a short squat bald man with no hair with an odd red cap perched crookedly on his head, wearing a sign that read THE DIRECTOR._

_Kanoe got to his feet and flicked on a slide projector. The people seated at the table turned in their chairs to face the side of the room where a screen hung showing the image of a mutilated corpse. There was the sound of many feet shuffling as people off screen also turned to see the display, followed by the sound of at least two people being physically ill._

_Those at the table turned again, all facing the camera and the new display. It was Watari who summed it up intellectually._

"_Ewwww!"_

_Kanoe pointed towards the camera "All of you! OUT!" He thundered. The scene shifted and went dark._

"We'll remove the sound in this scene and add some narration about case briefings." Explained THE DIRECTOR.

The elegant man shrugged. "It doesn't really matter."

"_Lunch!" Tsuzuki cheered as the scene focused on him._

"_Baka." Came the mumbled response from off camera. Definitely Hisoka's voice._

_Tsuzuki walked into a nearby restaurant, Hisoka came into the scene behind him. The camera followed the pair inside. _

_A tall dignified elderly man with slicked back sliver hair appeared in the scene. _

"_I am the manager Sir, and I'm afraid you can't bring them in here." He said gesturing towards the camera._

"_But…" Tsuzuki began._

"_Let me handle this." Said a high squeaky voice. "Sir, we are filming a movie here. It will be viewed by a large audience and, of course, your restaurant will receive full billing in the film." A short squat bald man with no hair wearing an odd red cap appeared in the scene, predominantly displaying the sign around his neck that proclaimed him to be THE DIRECTOR._

_Gears visibly turned in the manager's mind. He focused on the odd red cap. Either this short squat bald man with no hair was a director, or a flying chicken._

'_**A what?'** The manager thought to himself. 'I need a nap.'_

"_A movie?" The manager said out loud. "How wonderful. Of course your meals will be on the house."_

_Tsuzuki sprouted ears and a tail. "Really! Yay!" The camera moved in for a close up of inu Tsuzuki who attempted to glomp the manager. He was stopped short by Hisoka's hand gripping the back of his shirt collar._

"_Sit boy!"_

_Tsuzuki sat._

"_Please order what you wish." Said the manager leaving to find a bed._

_Tsuzuki proceeded to order two of everything on the menu, his eyes shining and tail wagging madly._

_The scene shifted and faded._

_A new scene opened on a rather pretty lightly wooded area. Tsuzuki wandered around, seemingly at random. Hisoka stood still, his eyes closed._

"_Mr Tsuzuki, what are you doing?" Asked a high pitched squeaky voice._

_Tsuzuki looked up, letting out a heavy sigh. "This is the scene of the last murder, were looking for any clues that might tell us what happened."_

"_And the boy?" _

_Tsuzuki opened his mouth to answer when Hisoka's eyes opened._

"_Tsuzuki!"_

_Tsuzuki moved over to his partner. The camera followed._

"_The murder was committed by a demon. I can feel the traces of its presence." A slight frown marred his features._

"_Can you follow it?" Tsuzuki asked._

"_Aa." Hisoka confirmed. "But let's pick it up in the morning, it's getting late and I'm tired."_

_Tsuzuki nodded and put an arm around the smaller man and a vaguely concerned look crossed his face as his partner leaned against him._

"_Okay, let's go to the hotel." He looked over at the camera. "Turn that off." The scene went dark as the cameraman complied._

_The screen lightened once again to show the pair of Shinigami walking down a nearly deserted street in the early morning light. _

"_Are we close?" Tsuzuki asked his partner who was in the lead._

_Hisoka stopped moving and was silent for a moment. Then he turned slightly and gestured to a large, decrypt looking building. "There, it's in there."_

_Tsuzuki move to take the lead and Hisoka followed. _

_The pair approached the door of the building. Tsuzuki went in. Hisoka paused in the doorway and turn to the camera behind him._

"_Where do you think your going?"_

"_Inside of course. We need to film the action." Replied a high squeaky voice._

"_Fine." Said Hisoka. "Don't blame us if you get eaten."_

_Hisoka went inside, moving quickly to catch up to Tsuzuki and the camera followed._

_Tsuzuki stood in the centre of a large room, looking around him. "Hisoka?"_

"_It's here." The youth replied, "Be ready."_

_As he spoke, there was a roar and a huge demon dropped from above, directly in front of the surprised Shinigami._

_There was the sound of running feet and the scene wavered._

_The demon was grotesque. It was humanoid in shape, but stood twice as high as a man, with scaly green molted skin and a pair of large leathery wings, it dwarfed the pair of Shinigami as it towered over them._

_The demon sent a blast of power at the pair, but Tsuzuki raised a barrier and the blast glanced of without harming them. Tsuzuki raised his hand holding a fuda…_

"_Cut! Stop! This isn't working!" THE DIRECTOR ran forward._

_The demon leaned over and gulped THE DIRECTOR in one large bite._

_Several moments passed in stunned silence. Then the demons eyes widened and a horrible expression crossed its features. There was a strange and sickening burping sound, made exactly 3.4 times worse by the frightening visage that it issued from. The demon leaned over again and spit out THE DIRECTOR._

'_He must taste like Tsuzuki's cooking.' Hisoka thought to himself, feeling a sliver of pity for the demon._

"_Now that that's out of the way," THE DIRECTOR began, completely unfazed, "Let's get down to business. You!" He pointed off camera. "Bring those lights over here, and get the make-up people back in here, we need to make this demon presentable." He walked around the demon, who eyed him warily, much to the astoundment of the two Shinigami._

"You handled that rather well, most people would be rather upset after being nearly eaten by a demon." The elegant man observed.

THE DIRECTOR shrugged. "I work in the film industry, I deal with worse than that every day."

_The demon saw the group of determined people coming towards it, none of whom looked any more edible than THE DIRECTOR had proved to be and panicked. It flew towards the Shinigami, and grabbing Hisoka by the shoulders, trying to hide it's mass behind him._

"_Hey!" Cried Hisoka and Tsuzuki in unison._

"_Save me!" Cowered the demon._

"_Release the souls that you have and we'll think about it." Tsuzuki told it._

_The demon nodded fervently, and began to shrink as the souls it had consumed were released. _

_Tsuzuki, feeling a little out of place, decided to just sit on the floor and watch._

_THE DIRECTOR and his unworthy crew approached. "Give us the demon, we need to get it ready for the fight scene!"_

"_No!" Whimpered the demon, still clinging to Hisoka's shoulders, hiding behind him with more success now that it was smaller._

_Hisoka spread his arms out to block the crew from the demon. "Look, we're just going to banish it back to Hell and that's it. No one's going to put make-up on it."_

"_That sounds nice" said the demon. "Just don't let them get me!"_

_Working quickly, as THE DIRECTOR and his crew looked as if they would attack any moment, Hisoka preformed the banishment charm and the demon disappeared, giving a final sigh of relief._

"_Dammit boy, you let it get away!" Cried THE DIRECTOR._

_In a fit of vexation Hisoka took a swipe at the short squat balding man with no hair and knocked the odd red cap right off his head. It landed in Tsuzuki's lap. _

"_Hey! This is Gushoshin's hat!" Tsuzuki exclaimed reading the name inside the brim._

_The two Shinigami exchanged a glance and disappeared._

_The scene faded._

**TBC**


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks to everyone who reviewed, I'm glad to know there are people out there enjoying this nuttiness!

I gave up on caffeine as a fuel source, and decided to try a chapter with no sleep. (Probably the result of the caffeine)

**Scene 5**

Watari Yutaka held up the beaker in front of him in triumph, his tiny owl 003 perched on his shoulder clapping her wings together. It was finally ready for testing, the latest version of his gender changing potion. He surveyed the other numerous beakers on the table in front of him, his failed attempts, each a different color from florescent pink to a pale grey that looked like dirty dishwater.

Watari grinned to himself, it was time to find a victim, er, guinea pig, no wait, volunteer! (That's the right word, right?)

He picked up as many of the vials as he could carry, he should really see what effects the other potions had as well. It was in the name of science after all.

Checking the hallway to make sure that there was no one out there to sound the alarm, he stealthily made his way to the break room, giggling manically the whole way.

**(A short while later)**

Tsuzuki made his way to the break room, only one thought running through his mind. There were sweets to be had, and he didn't have them…yet.

He was about to go through the door when Watari came out. The huge smile on his face immediately told Tsuzuki that eating anything in the break room would be an incredibly dangerous thing to do.

"Hey Tsuzuki! Going for a snack?"

"Um, no, um, I'm full, really. I just wanted, ah, a glass of water."

The grin on Watari's face widened, if possible.

'Aw crap!' Tsuzuki thought to himself, 'He got the water cooler.'

"Or maybe not."

The grin faded slightly "Why don't you get Bon a cup of coffee?" Watari suggested.

Tsuzuki was seriously tempted, but he knew that if he did such a thing he would be spending the next month sleeping on the couch, if he survived his partners' initial reaction.

"I don't think he would want any coffee right now."

The grin on Watari's face faded even more.

"Break time!" An unidentified voice cried out.

There was the sound of thundering feet as a hoard of unsightly and unconscionable men descended upon the break room.

Tsuzuki and Watari only just managed to get out of the way of being trampled.

Tsuzuki looked at the other man, Watari's grin had returned full force.

He tip toed to the door of the break room and peeked inside, and gestured for Tsuzuki to join him.

Peeking over Watari's shoulder, Tsuzuki observed the chaos within.

"Hey Watari, did that guy just grow a set of wings?"

"Look like it doesn't it? Gotta remember that one. Hey you! Look out for the…"

There was a howl followed by a flurry of feathers flying everywhere.

"Ceiling fan." Watari finished.

**(Meanwhile, elsewhere)**

"Hisoka!"

The Gushoshin brothers floated over to greet the youth as he entered the library.

"Hey." Hisoka turned to the hatless Gushoshin. "Tsuzuki asked me to give this to you." He pulled the odd red cap out from behind his back.

Gushoshin's eyes grew wide and shiny. "My hat! Oh thank you, thank you, thank you!" He took his hat almost reverently, "You said Tsuzuki…" Putting the hat on his head, practically floating with pleasure. "Tell Tsuzuki that he is welcome to return to the library whenever he wishes."

The corner of Hisoka's mouth twitched. "If you say so. Well, I've got to get back to work. Ja ne!" He waved as he left the library.

"Are you sure that was a good idea?" Gushoshin asked him as he floated down to the table and settled himself in a seat. "After all, Tsuzuki has already destroyed the library twice!"

"But he got my hat back!" Said Gushoshin, still basking in his joy, "That warrants a reward."

"Ah! There it is!" Came a high squeaky voice from directly behind him, and suddenly the source of his joy was gone, leaving his cranium bare.

"Oh no! Not again!" Gushoshin turned to see a short squat bald man with no hair leaving the library at a quick waddle. Flying up from his seat Gushoshin zoomed after him.

"My hat!"

**(A chase scene later)**

Tatsumi was alone in his office finally getting some work done when there was a knock at the door.

"Come in."

The door opened and THE DIRCETOR let himself into the room, closing the door behind him.

Tatsumi raised a brow quizzically. "What can I do for you?"

THE DIRECTOR adjusted the odd red cap on his head and took a seat. "We have a few problems."

"And what would those be?" Tatsumi asked, trying really hard to care, but not succeeding.

"Well, we have a schedule to keep, but this morning I lost most of my film crew."

"You lost them?"

"Well, three of the guys turned into women, one is now entering the Miss Tokyo pageant. One guy grew wings, another two are now infants, and there are several guys I just can't find."

Tatsumi just looked at the man, waiting.

"Also, we are having a difficult time getting Mr. Tsuzuki to co-operate with the filming."

Tatsumi snorted softly.

"We need him to work with us, or we will never get this film done."

"So what do you want me to do about it?" Tatsumi asked.

"Well, to start with, you can help us get Mr. Tsuzuki back in front of the camera, and help keep him there."

"No."

"Mr. Tatsumi, surely you realize how important this is."

"No."

"The sooner we finish the film, the sooner we'll be out of here."

Tatsumi hesitated. "No."

"We'll pay you"

"How much?"

**XXX**

The elegant man stretched gracefully.

"Do you want to stop for the evening?" Asked the short squat bald man with no hair who sat beside him.

"Not yet, let's watch a little longer."

THE DIRECTOR nodded. "As you wish."

_Tsuzuki sat at a desk, looking completely miserable. He looked to the left at someone off camera pleadingly. Whatever response he got could not have been what he hoped for, as his shoulders slumped and his head drooped. With a deep sigh he faced the camera._

"_What do you want me to do?"_

"_I will you some questions, that new Shinigami would naturally be wondering about, and you answer. That's all." Answered a high squeaky voice._

_Tsuzuki nodded "Okay, shoot."_

"_What was the worst assignment you were ever on?_

_Tsuzuki looked thoughtful for several moments. "Well, there was this one case that Hisoka and I were on, and it lasted three weeks. By the end of the second week, our funds were running really short and Hisoka wouldn't let me buy any sweets._

_Tears welled in the amethyst eyes_

"_For a whole week!" A single tear escaped and ran down a smooth cheek. "No apple pie! No cinnamon buns, no donuts, no chocolate cake!" A second tear joined the first. "A whole week!"_

_Somewhere in the background there was a stifled sob, followed by a sound of annoyance._

"_Alright" Came the high squeaky voice. "Who is the most powerful Shinigami?"_

"_Well," Tsuzuki wiped his eyes. "I suppose I am, but Tatsumi-san is right up there too, he's a shadow master you know."_

"_Do all Shinigami have special powers?"_

"_No, not really, but as a Shinigami you will be taught fuda magic. Some people are more adept at it than others. You could also get a Shikigami, like I have."_

"_What would you say is the worst part of the job?"_

"_The paperwork, it is so boring, and there's so much of it!"_

_There was another sound of annoyance in the background._

"_What position do you normally sleep in?"_

"_Well, when I'm here, usually I just…" He folded his arms on the desk in front of him, them rested his head on his arms and closed his eyes. For a few minutes there was silence, then a soft snore._

_Off camera there was a third sound of annoyance followed by the sound of retreating footsteps and a door closing._

"_Did he fall asleep?" Asked a voice in the background._

"_Mr. Tsuzuki? Mr. Tsuzuki!" _

_The figure at the desk slept on…_

The elegant man snorted in amusement. "How long did he sleep?"

THE DIRECTOR sighed. "Till it was time to go home."

The elegant man shook his head, laughing softly. "Shall we call it a night?'

THE DIRECTOR nodded and yawned. "It's been a long day. Do you want me to come back in the morning?"

"Of course." Said the elegant man, showing his guest to the door. "After all, there's more to watch."


	6. Chapter 6

And I am back again!

**Chapter 6**

The weekend.

Tsuzuki snuggled up the warm body next to him and wondered how long he could keep him in bed. His partner had already stirred, and moved to get up, but Tsuzuki had pulled him back down, unwilling to leave the warmth of the bed. Since there was no work, maybe they should just stay there all day, Tsuzuki thought sleepily.

"We should get up." Hisoka said, sounding just as sleepy.

"Nuh uh. It's comfortable here." Tsuzuki told him, burying his face in dark blonde hair.

His hopes were shattered by a knock at the door.

Hisoka pulled out of his arms, and with an apologetic glance, went to answer the door.

Tsuzuki heard the door open and slam shut.

"Hisoka?'' he called out, "Who's at the door?"

"Stray dog." Hisoka answered coming back into the bedroom.

A stray dog that knocks? Tsuzuki looked at Hisoka in confusion. Hisoka responded by giving him an innocent smile.

There was another knock at the door.

"Get up, get dressed." Hisoka said. "Let's go down to Chiju for breakfast."

"But there's someone at the door!"

"No there isn't."

"Yes there is!"

"No there isn't."

There was a third knock at the door.

**(An hour later)**

"No there isn't"

"Yes there is!

"No there isn't."

There was a 53rd knock at the door.

"Breakfast! I'll treat." Hisoka was beginning to sound a little desperate.

That got Tsuzuki moving, he got up and started grabbing his clothes.

"Hurry," Hisoka said, throwing on his own stuff, "Before they learn how to pick a lock!"

**(Meanwhile)**

Gushoshin was busy.

He tied his bandana around his head, Rambo style.

He had studied the enemy, and now was the time to plan his attack. He had 48 hours to get everything ready.

He picked up the big coil of rope he conveniently kept in a back closet of the library, along with his shovel, pick-axe and cherry bombs.

He would get his hat back.

**(A little while later)**

Hisoka finished his tea as Tsuzuki polished off his wide array of pastries. The café was small and quiet, and the couple were greatly enjoying themselves discussing what to do with the rest of their day. Hisoka paid the bill and the pair headed out the door.

"Mr. Tsuzuki! Mr. Tsuzuki! I've been looking everywhere for you!" A high squeaky voice cried out and the two Shinigami turned to see a short squat bald man waddling quickly towards them, the odd red cap on his head threatening to fly off with every bounce.

"Did he get a new hat?" Tsuzuki whispered to Hisoka, who only shrugged in reply.

Before the couple could make good their get away, another voice sounded from behind them.

"Ah, Tsuzuki-san, fancy running into you here…"

**XXX**

The elegant man had just finished breakfast when there was a tapping at his door. Answering it himself, he found THE DIRECTOR standing there with several film containers tucked under his arm.

"Good morning." THE DIRECTOR greeted him with a nod of his head.

The elegant man returned the nod and gestured for the short squat bald man with no hair to enter.

"Have you eaten yet?" The elegant man asked, ever the good host.

"Oh yes." THE DIRECTOR assured him. "I stopped on the way over."

Together, the two men made their way back to the same room where they had spent most of the previous day. The elegant man reclaimed his seat on the couch as THE DIRECTOR fed a new reel of film through the projector.

"Are you ready?" THE DIRECTOR asked.

"Whenever you are." The elegant man replied.

"Ok." With the flick of a switch the projector started to run. "Action!"

_The camera bounced along behind a short squat bald man with no hair and an oddly bobbing red cap, towards Tsuzuki and Hisoka._

"_Mr. Tsuzuki! Mr. Tsuzuki! I've been looking everywhere for you!" He cried out. _

_Tsuzuki leaned down to his younger companion and the blonde shrugged. The pair exchanged a glance and another voice sounded off screen. _

"_Ah, Tsuzuki-san, fancy running into you here."_

_The scene shifted slightly to the left to reveal a tall man with silver white hair in a long white treanchcoat._

"_Muraki!" Tsuzuki hissed taking an involuntary step backwards._

"_And who are these people?" Muraki asked, gesturing towards THE DIRECTOR and the camera_

"_Stray dog." Hisoka answered blandly, seeming unperturbed by the new arrival. He had decided that Muraki was probably the lesser of evils, he wouldn't put make-up on him._

_Muraki stepped up to Tsuzuki and leaned in close, "So Tsuzuki, would you like to spend the day with me?" He asked in a sleek and extremely suggestive tone._

"_Hey!" THE DIRECTOR interjected. "He has to come with us, we have a film to make!" THE DIRECTOR grabbed one of Tsuzuki's arms and began to pull the man away._

_Muraki, not to be outdone, grabbed Tsuzuki's other arm and pulled him back._

_Tsuzuki's head snapped back and forth as the two combatants yanked him back and forth in their efforts to pull him away from the other._

"_Let go of him you little pissant!"_

"_No! You let go! He's coming with us!"_

"_You have no idea what I can do to you." Muraki threatened._

"_Do you want me to sic the wardrobe crew on you?"_

_Hisoka watched the tug of war from the side, completely forgotten. He sighed in annoyance and bent down and picked up the collapsed fold-up chair that some helpful soul had for some reason dropped there earlier that morning._

"_He's already spending the day with me you morons!" Hisoka informed the two men and in his best imitation of a pro wrestler, he brought the chair down on Muraki's head._

_Muraki fell to the ground, clutching his head and moaning. Hisoka stepped over him raising the chair again. He advanced on THE DIRECTOR who stepped back at the menace in the green eyes._

_Tsuzuki watched his partner wielding the chair with wicked intent. He was thrilled that Hisoka was fighting for him, but he was a little awed at the youth's ferocity. He noticed Muraki starting to pull himself back up and gave him boot in the rump to keep him down a little longer. "Ah, Hisoka, I think we should get going now."_

_Hisoka glanced back at him quickly, unwilling to lower the chair, but he began to back away._

"_Oh no," THE DIRECTOR moved forward again, "You can't go. We need you Mr. Tsuzuki!"_

"_Tough." Growled Hisoka._

_THE DIRECTOR narrowed his eyes at the youth. "Get him!" He cried, and a dozen or so unsavory and unconscionable men rushed into the scene._

_Hisoka's eyes widened as he realized that the odds were no longer in his favour, dropped the chair and ran for it, Tsuzuki close on his heels._

_The gaggle of men followed, one man straggling behind shaking his head._

"Hey!" Cried out THE DIRECTOR. "That's Joe!"

"Joe?" Inquired the elegant man.

"Yeah, Joe. God do I ever hate that prick. He kept sticking his nose in my business, trying to tell everybody what to do as if he was the one making the film. I don't even know how he got on the crew. I sure as hell didn't hire him!"

The elegant man just smirked.

_The camera focused on the man in white who was still laying face down on the sidewalk. Muraki looked up at the camera and glared._

_Pulling himself painfully to his feet, he brushed off his suit, seeming somewhat abashed at being seen in such an undignified position._

_With a last glare at the camera, Muraki turned and started to walk away. He lifted his hand and snapped his fingers._

_Suddenly a huge monster with three head rose in front of the camera and the screen went dark._

THE DIRECTOR sighed. "I lose more camera men that way…"


	7. Chapter 7

The flu visited my house last week, so I'm afraid this is the result of many painkillers and antihistamines.

I'm looking forward to going back to caffeine.

**Scene 7**

After a full and busy day of running, visiting the zoo, running, getting ice cream, running, a very short and almost romantic dinner followed by some more running, Tsuzuki was more than ready for a good night's sleep. He decided that nothing was going to get him out of bed before noon.

Nothing turned out to be Hisoka's foot, which kicked him out of bed before 7am.

"Soka!"

"Your turn." Hisoka muttered groggily.

Tsuzuki realized that he could hear a tapping on the apartment door. For a moment he even considered answering it, but knowing who would be there, he instead opted to climb back into bed and wrap himself around his once again sleeping partner.

The tapping continued for a few minutes then stopped, and Tsuzuki found himself beginning to relax when he heard a muted 'click'.

The sound was enough to cause Hisoka to bolt upright. "Crap!" He swore, "They learned how to pick a lock after all!"

Tsuzuki blinked.

A door slammed.

"Hisoka?" His partner had disappeared.

Tsuzuki blinked again.

A large group of unwanted and unfit men were swarming around in his bedroom carrying cameras, lights and assorted doodads.

A short, squat bald man with no hair came to a stop directly in front of him, and Tsuzuki found himself eye to sign with THE DIRECTOR.

"Good morning Mr. Tsuzuki! We have to get an early start today, we didn't get much done yesterday!"

Tsuzuki hid under the covers, as you know, monsters can't get you if all of you is under the covers. (A/N This is a proven fact.)

THE DIRECTOR sighed. "C'mon Mr. Tsuzuki, if we get in a few hours of good film, we'll leave you alone for the rest of the day."

"Promise?" Came Tsuzuki's voice from under the mound of blankets.

"Yes, I promise." Said THE DIRECTOR crossing his fingers.

Tsuzuki peeked out from under the covers. "You really promise?"

THE DIRECTOR hid his crossed fingers behind his back. "Yes really."

Tsuzuki came out warily. He looked around and realized that his partner was still absent. "Where's Hisoka?" he asked.

"The boy? I have no idea, so long as he's not in the bathroom." Said THE DIRECTOR

**(Two hours later)**

Tatsumi Seiichiro was doing something he very rarely did. He was sleeping in.

He had spent the night before going over a multitude of reports that he had brought home from the office, and it wasn't until the small hours of the morning that he had finished with them. Especially since each of Tsuzuki's reports took about an hour to translate, his hand writing was worse than chicken scratch.

So when the phone rang a little after nine, Tatsumi was a very unhappy Tatsumi.

"Tatsumi desu." He answered glaring at the phone.

"Ah, Mr. Tatsumi…' THE DIRECOR, Tatsumi thought. He wondered if he could reach his magic across phone lines and throttle the man with his own shadow. "I need you to come over here now."

"Come over where?" Tatsumi made no effort to conceal his annoyance.

"I'm at Mr. Tsuzuki's place," THE DIRECTOR informed him. "He is refusing to co-operate with our filming schedule without the boy, but the boy is stubbornly refusing to co-operated period."

Apparently shadow magic couldn't span phone cords, the man was still talking.

"If you could come over and talk some sense into him…"

Tatsumi ground his teeth in frustration.

"We'll pay the same rates of course."

Visions of Yen danced in Tatsumi's head.

"I'll be right there."

**(Another two hours later)**

Watari Yutaka had popped a bowl of popcorn and was preparing to watch a week worth of his favorite soap opera that he had programmed to tape while he was at work. (Luckily, being a genius, he was able to figure out how to program a VCR)

He was deeply immersed in the complicated plot, Victoria McSnobbish had just told the man that she loved, Rodderick VanStuddly, that the baby she carried was a clone of the pastor's daughter and had been implanted by space aliens, so she absolutely could not marry him, unless he could prove that he was really dying of cancer for the seventh time, when the phone rang.

"Moshi Moshi !" Watari answered the phone.

For a moment there was silence, then "Watari?"

"Tsuzuki? Is that you?"

"Can you come over? Please?"

"What's wrong Tsuzuki?"

"It's Hisoka and Tatsumi, they…just, can you come over? I really need your help."

Watari looked longingly over at his soap, where Rodderick VanStuddly had just thrown Victoria McSnobbish across a bed and informed her that he was passionately in love with her sister's cat.

"I'll be right over."

**XXX**

_The scene focused of a mound of blankets on a bed in a familiar room. _

_A pair of wide violet eyes peeked out focused on someone out of the scene. After a few moments, the lean form of Tsuzuki Asato emerged from the cocoon of blankets, and the man looked around._

"_Where's Hisoka?" He asked_

"_The boy? I have no idea, so long as he's not in the bathroom." Said a high squeaky voice from off camera._

_The camera swung around quickly to show that the bathroom door was open and the room was unoccupied. There was a collective sigh of relief from a dozen throats._

_The scene shifted back to Tsuzuki as he climbed out of the bed, and the camera immediately zoomed in for a close up of the Shinigami who was clad only in a pair of white boxers._

_Tsuzuki looked down. "Eeeep!" He grabbed the blanket off the bed and wrapped it around himself. "Would you people leave so I can get dressed!" Striding to the closet, he shot a nasty look over his shoulder at the camera. He reached the closet only to find the door locked. "What the…?"_

"_Is something wrong Mr. Tsuzuki?" Asked the high squeaky voice._

_Tsuzuki jiggled the handle of the closet door. Then he paused for a moment and knocked. "Hisoka? Are you in there?"_

"_No." Came Hisoka's voice from inside the closet._

"_Hisoka, come out of the closet!" Tsuzuki pleaded._

"_No thank you. It's nice in here."_

"_You can't mean that!"_

"_Sure I can. And until a minute ago it was quiet too."_

"_Hisoka, please come out of the closet, you can't stay in there."_

"_Sure I can. I like it in here."_

_Tsuzuki looked to the side for help. The scene moved to show a short squat balding man wearing a red cap and a sign that read THE DIRECTOR._

_THE DIRECTOR met Tsuzuki's beseeching gaze and shrugged. "I don't care if he stays in the closet."_

_There was a muffled cheer from the closet._

_Tsuzuki stood for a moment looking thoughtful. Then he went back to the bed and crawled into it, covering himself completely with the blanket._

"_Mr. Tsuzuki…" THE DIRECTOR began._

"_G'way." Tsuzuki's voice came from under the mound of blankets. "My lover's in the closet and I'm not getting out of bed."_

_For fifteen minutes the scene focused on the pile of blankets on the rumpled bed before the scene faded._

"Well that's an interesting development." Commented the elegant man.

"Just wait." THE DIRECTOR told him. "It got worse."

_The scene reappeared, and oddly enough it hadn't changed. The camera was still focused on the mound of blankets on the bed._

_From out of sight there came voices._

"_He's been under there how long?" The first voice was frosty and irritated._

_The mound of blankets flinched._

"_Almost two hours. After he said he was staying in bed he refused to talk to us." The high squeaky voice supplied._

"_And Kurosaki-kun is in the closet."_

"_Well, yes, but we're more interested in Mr. Tsuzuki."_

_A tall dark haired man entered the scene, approaching the bed. Cobalt blue eyes flashed behind his glasses. "Tsuzuki! Come out of there."_

_Wide soulful violet eyes peeked out from under the blankets. "Tatsumi?" Tsuzuki questioned in a quavering voice._

_The shadow master flinched. "Come out Tsuzuki." He said in a softer tone._

"_Can you get my robe from the bathroom?" Tsuzuki asked._

_Tatsumi turned and left the scene, reappearing a moment later with the requested garment. He passed to the arm that came out from under the blankets. The arm and the robe both disappeared into the pile. Then, after a flurry of movement under the covers, Tsuzuki emerged, but he remained sitting on the edge of the bed, looking extremely dejected._

"_Hisoka won't come out of the closet." He told his superior._

_Tatsumi sighed and the camera followed him as he went to the closet. He knocked on the door. "Kurosaki-kun, would you please come out of the closet."_

"_With all due respect Tatsumi-san, I would prefer to remain where I am." Hisoka's voice replied._

"_Then may I come in and speak with you?" Tatsumi asked, looking mildly annoyed._

"_By all means." _

_There was a click as the door was unlocked. Tatsumi opened it and stepped inside, closing the door behind him. There was another click as the door was once again locked._

_The camera stayed focused on the door for several minutes, there was a low murmur of voices that the camera couldn't quite pick up. Then there was a rustling noise and the scene shifted back to Tsuzuki, who had left the bed and was approaching the closet again._

_He knocked on the door. "Tatsumi? Hisoka? Are you guys coming out of the closet?"_

"_Actually, Tsuzuki," Tatsumi's voice came from the closet. "Kurosaki-kun is right. It's quite pleasant in here. Peaceful. I think I'll stay here for a bit."_

_TaaaaaTsuuuuuuumi! Come out of the closet! Please?" Tsuzuki pleaded._

"_No."_

"_Hisoka?"_

"_I told you already, no."_

_Tsuzuki went and crawled back into the bed and under the covers._

_The scene went dark, only to brighten on a new scene._

_The scene showed the inside of a kitchen that was being explored and raided by the unmannered and untrained masses when a high squeaky cry was heard some distance away._

"_Mr. Tsuzuki! You got up!"_

_The scene pivoted and bounced down a hallway and re-entered the bedroom where Tsuzuki was setting down a phone._

_Tsuzuki looked up at the camera, looking incredibly tragic and put upon. There was an audible gulp from off camera and Tsuzuki sat down on the edge of the bed._

_The camera remained on the unmoving man for several minutes until the doorbell rang. _(A/N Why was THE DIRECTOR knocking when there was a doorbell? I have no idea!) _Tsuzuki jumped up, hope dawning on his features and ran for the door, the camera followed._

_A blonde man with concern in his amber eyes entered the apartment. Tsuzuki threw his arms around the new arrival._

_"Tsuzuki! What's wrong?" Watari asked, returning the spontaneous hug._

_"Tatsumi and Hisoka are in the closet and they won't come out!"_

_"Tatsumi and Hisoka are in the closet?" Watari raised his brows._

_Tsuzuki nodded._

_The blonde burst into laughter. "Okay, so let's get them to come out!"_

_Tsuzuki and Watari went into the bedroom, camera in tow. Watari went to the closet door and knocked. "Oi! Tatsumi? Hisoka? Are you guys in there?"_

_"No." Replied Hisoka's voice from inside the closet._

_"Good." Said Watari. "Can you unlock the door?"_

_There was a click as the door was unlocked. "We're still not coming out." Hisoka's voice informed him._

_"Why not?" Asked Watari. "It's not hard. Look." He opened the closet door and stepped inside. "I'm in the closet," He stepped out again. "I'm out of the closet. I'm in the closet, I'm out of the closet."_

_There was a snort that sounded remarkably like it had come from Tatsumi, and the door was pulled shut._

_Tsuzuki looked crestfallen, but Watari just grinned at him and moved away from the closet._

_"Hey look! Tatsumi's wallet!"_

_"Where!" Tatsumi burst out of the closet with the force of a missile. "Where's my wallet!" He took in Tsuzuki's shocked face and Watari's amused smirk, and realized that he'd been tricked. In a fit of pique, he decided he was going home. Nodding at his fellow Shinigami and trying to ignore the slight blush that he knew must be visible on his face, he took his leave._

_"I can't believe it." Tsuzuki said in an awed voice. "You got Tatsumi to come out of the closet!"_

_"Yup. Ain't I great?" Watari said mischievously._

_"What about Hisoka?" Tsuzuki asked._

_"He's a little harder, but I think I'm up to the task." Watari once again approached the closet door. "Hey Bon!"_

_"What is it?" Hisoka's voice sounded wary._

_"Do you remember the last time Seya and Yuma visited?"_

_There was a pause. "Yes."_

_Watari pause dramatically. "I have pictures."_

_There was an intake of breath from the closet. "You don't!"_

_"Oh yes I do, and if you don't come out of the closet so will everyone else!"_

_Hisoka came out of the closet, glaring at Watari. "I want the pictures."_

_Watari grinned. "Okay."_

_Hisoka left the bedroom. Tsuzuki went over to Watari. "Pictures?" He asked._

_"Don't worry Tsuzuki." Watari said grinning evilly. "I made copies."_


	8. Chapter 8

I am so sorry I took so long to get this out. My muse went on vacation. The next chapter will probably be a long wait as well.

I was thinking way too much when I wrote this scene. I gotta cut that out. (Hi Daily!)

Thanks to everyone who read and everyone who reviewed! I love you all!

**Scene 8**

The early morning sunlight streamed through the high windows of the library, dust motes danced and shimmered in the air, giving the room an almost mythical and magical appearance. Wooden shelves gleamed, displaying their treasures, thousands of books, enough to make any avid readers' heart palpitate with joy.

In the midst of this bright atmosphere a lone figure floated, at odds with the room around him.

Gushoshin adjusted the Rambo style bandana around his forehead and streaked black war paint across his feathers. He was going to get his hat back.

Today.

Looking out the front window of the library he could see his prey approaching. His hand tightened on the length of rope he held. An evil smirk crossed his beak (?). With his other hand he caressed the large bag sitting on the floor next to him.

The bag read 'Quick Drying Cement'.

**(Outside)**

The birds were chirping, and the butterflies were dancingwith the sakura petals that gently drifted in the soft breeze. The morning sun shone down as THE DIRECTOR made his way to the doors of Ju On Cho.

THE DIRECTOR smiled as he considered the next step he was prepared to take to gain Tsuzuki's cooperation for his film. He already tried bribery, stalking and coercion, what was a little hostage taking?

He sighed to himself, after all, all's fair in love, war, and the pursuit of artistic brilliance.

**(And from the other direction)**

Tatsumi walked briskly to the doors of Ju On Chow, a stack of papers that he had completed over the weekend tucked under his arm. He reached the door at the same time as THE DIRECTOR.

Giving that individual a good morning scowl, he accepted that one's offer to precede him through the door. Stepping inside, Tatsumi registered for a single moment that the floor seemed to have opened up underneath him, and he found himself chest deep in a cold semi-liquid sludge.

"What the…?"

His dropped papers fluttered to the ground around him.

"Are you okay Mr. Tatsumi?" Asked THE DIRECTOR, his beady little eyes opened wide in amazement at the sight of the normally taciturn secretary in a narrow pit of grey muck, holding his arms up like a victim in an old western, papers drifting to the floor around him.

Tatsumi took a quick inventory of himself. "I seem to be alright," He struggled futilely for a moment. "And very stuck." He looked up at THE DIRECTOR. "I don't suppose you could help me out of here, could you?"

THE DIRECTOR offered Tatsumi a hand, which he took and for several minutes the short squat bald man with no hair pulled at the secretary to no avail. Finally he gave up. "I'll go see if I can find some help." With that THE DIRECTOR ran off down the hall, leaving Tatsumi fuming behind him in the hardening cement.

Reaching as far as he could, Tatsumi began collecting the reports that had fallen to the floor. The ones he could reach were covered with cement. Tatsumi growled low in his throat.

Someone was going to pay.

**(Twenty minutes later)**

Watari entered the doors of Ju On Cho and promptly fell flat on his face. Pulling himself into a sitting position, he turned to see what he had tripped on. His chin hit his chest at the sight of Tatsumi's upper body protruding from the floor.

Rubbing his head, Tatsumi glared at the blonde scientist. "Quit gaping Watari, you look like a dying fish."

Watari successfully managed to close his mouth. "Tatsumi? What are you doing in the floor?"

"It's a fung shway thing." Tatsumi said, trading his glare for a dirty look. "Do you think you could get me out of this?"

Watari knocked on the hardened cement looking thoughtful. "You're in there pretty good, but I can probably find something in the lab that will dissolve this stuff." He jumpedup and headed down the hallway.

"Watari!" Tatsumi called out after him. "Something that won't dissolve me too, right?" But Watari was already gone.

Walking towards the lab at a brisk pace, Watari pulled an envelope out of the pocket of his lab coat. Opening the envelope, he started leafing through a rather sizable collection of pictures without slowing his pace. "Tsuzuki will love these!" He snickered to himself.

Perhaps if Watari had been looking where he was going, he would have seen the large net across the hallway floor and the tripwire just before it, but as it was, he didn't.

"Aaaaarrrrggggghhhhhhh!"

The pictures scattered across the floor, much as Tatsumi's reports had done earlier.

"Oh crap!" Watari whispered to himself straining to reach the pictures through a whole in the net. "If Bon comes by and sees those he'll massacre me!"

The sound of approaching footsteps caused the blonde to peer down the hallway with trepidation, and strain even harder for the incriminating photographs, but his arms were a full inch too short.

"Watari-san? What the hell are you doing?"

Watari looked up into the red eyes of his co-worker. "Terazuma! Please help me!"

Terazuma bent over and swept up a handful of the photos and began to page through them. The first one made his eyes widen, by the third, his hands were shaking. "Watari, where did you get these?" He asked in a high voice that cracked on the last word.

"Well Seya and Yuma…"

But Terazuma had reached the fifth photograph. "Holy sh…" In an instant the Shinigami had involuntarily transformed and Kuroshungei took off, leaving a large hole in the ceiling of Enma cho.

"Interesting." Watari mumbled looking up at the bright sunlight streaming into the hallway. "I guess he must like Bon a lot more than he lets on."

**(At about the same time)**

The subject of several pictures lying across the hallway floor was falling through a window into the office that he shared with his partner, assisted by a rather too hard push to his backside. "Dammit Tsuzuki! Is this really necessary?" Hisoka got to his feet, rubbing his headwhich had made contact with the floor first.

Violet eyes peeked at him through the window. "Of course it is." Tsuzuki whispered, "You know that that crazy short squat bald man with no hair is going to be looking for us, and he'll find us for sure if we just came through the front door. Now give me a hand."

Hisoka reached out and grabbed handfuls of Tsuzuki's long coat and started pulling as the man, flailing wildly, managed to hoist himself through the window.

After brushing himself off, Tsuzuki straightened his clothing and headed for the door, peeking out cautiously. "Okay, I don't see anyone, why don't you go down to Tatsumi's office and let him know we're here, and I'll go pillage, I mean visit the break room. You want some coffee?"

Hisoka nodded. "And if you see Watari, tell him that I want to talk to him about yesterday."

Tsuzuki nodded and ducking low crept out of the office.

Hisoka shook his head at his partners' melodramatics and headed off in the opposite direction.

He hadn't gotten very far when he ran into a group of unnameable, unscrupulous men.

"Hey! There he is!" Was the cry.

"There who is? " Hisoka looked around a little wildly, praying to god that they were not talking about him.

They were.

Before Hisoka could turn and run for it, a dozen or more hands had grabbed him and lifted him in the air.

"Put me down!" Yelled the irate youth.

"THE DIRECTOR said to grab you, so we're grabbing you." He was informed by one of the crew members.

Feeling the not-so-pleasant or virtuous emotions of the crowd seeping into his skin and mingling with his own rising sense of panic, Hisoka struggled and his defensive powers flared, causing more than a few cries of pain, but when one hand let go, there were more to take it's place, and Hisoka was quickly approaching an overload.

"Hey! What do you think you're doing?" An unfamiliar voice called out.

A dozen or so heads turned en mass towards the newcomer. "Well THE DIRECTOR said…" One man began.

"Put him down!" The unfamiliar voice said, causing a wave of confusion to run through the assembled crew. Hisoka moaned. "Now!" The voice demanded.

The crew complied.

"Weren't you guys told that the kid is an empath?" The voice asked.

The dozen or so men exchange 63 and a half glances before someone spoke up.

"Yeah."

"Do any of you uneducated louts know what that means?"

"Um…nope."

The newcomer sighed. "It means don't touch! Got it! Good, now GET!"

The film crew, cowed by the authority in the man's voice obeyed quickly. As the last of them disappeared around the corner, the man turned to Hisoka, who was still lying on the ground, trying not to be sick in the aftermath of so many unwanted, (and probably some rather perverted) emotions.

"Hey kid, are you alright?" He asked, kneeling down, but keeping his hands to himself.

"Aa, I'll be fine." Hisoka said as he pushed himself up, swaying slightly. "Thanks."

"No problem. I'm Joe."

Hisoka looked up at the man who seemed to be much less unappealing than the other men who worked for THE DRECTOR.

Joe smirked. "That's because I don't work for him kid, I was hired by the guy paying the bills. I'm kinda supposed to keep a quiet eye on the ethical side of things."

Hisoka blushed as he realized that he had been thinking out loud. "So where were you last week?" He grumbled.

Joe laughed outright. "I was only hired over the weekend, has it been that bad?"

"Worse." Hisoka informed him.

"C'mon." Joe said as he got to his feet. "Let's go someplace quiet were you can get yourself together. I'll buy you some lunch."

"Um…" Someplace quiet sounded like a good idea. "Okay, thanks."

**(Meanwhile, in the break room)**

Tsuzuki's eyes were wide and shiny, completely inu, ears perked, tail wagging, he gazed at the sight before him.

On one table was a chocolate cake. Three layers, rich dark chocolate frosting swirled around in enticing patterns, all topped by a large, red, ripe strawberry.

On another table was a very deep dish apple pie, with a golden fluffy, flaky crust. Juice had bubbled up through the slits in the top of the pie, and the scent of apples and cinnamon waged war against the smell of the rich chocolate.

Tsuzuki's head swung back and forth as he tried to ogle both desserts at the same time. Which one should he eat first? Stepping further into the room, he half expected the treats to disappear like a beautiful and delicious mirage.

Both of the tempting desserts remained.

The apple pie won out and Tsuzuki pounced on it. The moment he touched it, a rope tightened around his ankle and he was yanked into the air. Swinging wildly, Tsuzuki kept trying to reach the pie, but he was too high. Tears came to his eyes as he realized that the pastry was out of reach.

"Do you want it Mr. Tsuzuki?"

Tsuzuki's head whipped around to see THE DIRECTOR standing in the door of the break room smiling at him.

"I'll give it to you for a full day of filming."

Tsuzuki whimpered at the choice that lay before him. He could have the pie and have to endure a full day of being at the mercy of THE DIRECTOR and his crew, or he could say no and have no pie. He couldn't decide.

"For a full week of filming I'll even give you your partner back."

"What!" Tsuzuki stared hard at THE DIRECTOR, seriously hoping that he'd heard the man wrong.

"Well, you seem to like the boy," THE DIRECTOR understated, "So I extended him an invitation to stay with me until the film is finished. It should take about a week." THE DIRECTOR smiled evilly.

Just at that moment a man rushed into the room, gawked at Tsuzuki hanging upside down for a moment, then began hissing franticly into THE DIRECTOR's ear.

"You didn't? Why not? Joe? What did he…he what? How dare that pretentious little prick!"

Tsuzuki watched as THE DIRECTOR's face turned a bright red as he listened to what the man was telling him.

"Go tell the others that we'll try again later." THE DIRECTOR growled at the man, the effect ruined by his high squeaky voice, and the man hurried out of the room.

THE DIRECTOR wandered over to the table that held the chocolate cake, muttering under his breath. "That Joe, when I get my hands on him…" He dipped his finger into the chocolate icing and stuck it in his mouth.

And promptly fell to ground unconscious.

Tsuzuki stared at the man for a moment, then resumed his struggles to reach the pie.

**(A little later)**

A lone camera man wandered the halls of Enma Cho. The place seemed oddly deserted. Opening up a door, he found himself looking into a huge library.

There was a large chicken in an orange skirt, a yellow scarf and a Rambo style bandana floating directly in front of him. If that wasn't enough, the streaks of paint across it's face were mildly creeping him out.

Still, he was very board. "Hey! Can I film you?"

Gushoshin looked at the intruder in his domain. (The library) "You want to film me?"

"Yeah!"

"Okay." Gushoshin told him, "Just don't get in my way."

**XXX**

"So would you like to stop for lunch?" THE DIRECTOR asked as he set up a new reel of film in the projector.

"The butler will bring something in and we can eat while we watch." The elegant man informed him.

THE DIRECTOR nodded. "Okay. I just thought you might like a chance to stretch your legs." He said and turned on the projector.

_The screen lit up, showing the back of a floating chicken as the camera followed him out into the hall just in time to see a young girl with brown hair and a piece of fuda paper in her hand running by at a breakneck pace._

"_Wakaba-san, where are you going?" Called out the floating chicken._

"_Sorry Gushoshin, I can't talk now!" She called back, glancing over her shoulder. "I have to get Terazuma-chan, he just made a mess of the hallway outside the lab!" She disappeared down the hallway._

_Gushoshin shook his head and sighed. "I guess I'd better check my trap." He said, floating down the hall in the same direction that Wakaba had gone. He rounded a corner, and for a moment the scene went dark as the camera bumped into him._

"_T-Tatsumi san?" Gushoshin questioned hesitantly._

"_Gushoshin, you wouldn't happen to know anything about this, would you?" Came the voice of the secretary._

"_N-no…" Lied Gushoshin._

"_Why do you have stripes?"_

_The camera moved to show past Gushoshin to where Tatsumi Seiichiro protruded from the floor, a mess of papers scattered around his upper body._

"_Um…no reason." Gushoshin turned and zoomed off._

"_I-I'll go g-get some help." Stuttered a voice from behind the camera as it turned and followed the quickly departing chicken._

"_I've heard that before." Tatsumi's voice sounded from off camera._

"…_and he's not there," Gushoshin was muttering to himself as the scene caught up to him. "I'll have to check my other traps." The camera followed as Gushoshin floated down another hallway away from the library._

_As they turned another corner a voice was heard singing. "Three million, four hundred and fifty-two thousand, six hundred and eighty-nine bottles of beer on the wall, three million, four hundred and fifty-two thousand, six hundred and eighty-nine bottles of beer, you take one down and drink it before Tsuzuki can, Three million, four hundred and fifty-two thousand, six hundred and eighty-eight bottles of beer on the wall…"_

"_Watari-san?" Gushoshin called out._

"_Gushoshin, is that you? Please help me! Get me down from here!" _

_Gushoshin hurried down the hall to where the blonde man was swinging gently in a large net at least four feet above the ground. "I'll have you down in a minute, hey, what are these?" Gushoshin swooped down and grabbed a picture off the ground. His beak fell open in shock. "Watari-san, where did you get these? Does Hisoka-kun know you have them?"_

"_Um, Yes?"_

_Gushoshin collected all of the pictures together, almost falling to the ground when he saw the fifth one. "I'll get rid of these for you Watari-san." He strangled out._

"_Um, I can take care of them." Watari said reaching out for the offending photographs. _

_Gushoshin glared at the man. "I don't think so. Hisoka-kun will probably appreciate it if I take care of this little chore for you." He tucked the photos into his robes._

"_Okay Gushoshin." Watari conceded, slumping back into the net._

_Gushoshin went over to the rope and pulled on a strategically place knot that brought Watari crashing to the ground._

"_Thank-you!" Watari cried, throwing his arms around Gushoshin in appreciation. _

_Gushoshin squawked. "Okay, enough! I've got to go!" He pushed away from the genki scientist and headed down the hall. _

_The camera remained on Watari long enough to see the blonde man grin and pull the pile of photos from behind his back. Fanning through them he headed into his lab. The camera turned and followed Gushoshin down the hall._

_Gushoshin entered the break room and the camera followed. _

"_That's not one of mine!" Gushoshin wondered aloud as the scene focused on Tsuzuki swinging by one leg, upside down with one leg kicking out madly. His coat and jacket were bunched around his shoulders and every so often he took a swipe at his tie which kept swinging into his face. In between swipes at the tie Tsuzuki was straining to reach a lovely looking apple pie that was sitting on a table about two inches below his reach._

The elegant man laughed softly at Tsuzuki's predicament. "Remind me to send him another pie." He said glancing over at THE DIRECTOR before giving his attention back to the film.

"_My hat!"_

_The camera turned away from Tsuzuki and his struggles to show Gushoshin claiming his prize from the unconscious short, squat bald man with no hair._

Looking back at THE DIRECTOR, the elegant man took in the odd red cap perched at an odd angle on his bald head. "I see you got the hat back again."

"Of course." THE DIRECTOR shrugged.

"_Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!"_

The cry brought the two men's attention back to the film.

_The scene had shifted back to Tsuzuki hanging over the pie, but now his violet eyes were wide and focused on the door of the break room._

"_WATARI-SAN!" Tatsumi's voice echoed. Tsuzuki winced in sympathy for his friend._

"_What do you want? It dissolved the cement!" Watari's voice retorted._

"_It also dissolved my clothes!"_

_The camera turned to the door in time to see the blonde man speed past, running for his life._

_A moment later Tatsumi went tearing by after him, sans most of his clothing. The camera quickly shifted away from the entrance and back to Tsuzuki, who just looked completely shocked._

_Gushoshin floated over to Tsuzuki. "I'll get you down now Tsuzuki-san." He said and floated up to where the rope was knotted._

_Tsuzuki looked up (down?) "Wait Gusho…"_

_Splat!_

_Tsuzuki landed face first in the apple pie. _


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes:** First, there seems to be a number of people who are routing for Gushoshin to get his hat back. I just want to point out that the second section of each chapter, where THE DIRECTOR and the elegant man are watching the film takes place well after the actual filming is completed, and THE DIRECTOR has the hat. While Gushoshin may try valiantly, and probably will several more times, he will not be able to keep his hat, it would create a paradox and possibly destroy the world as we know it. At very least it would cause Tsuzuki to fall madly in love with Terazuma.

Secondly, Joe. Joe does not have a crush on Hisoka. (yet, it could happen.) I mainly brought Joe in because I like making Tsuzuki jealous. The guy with the crush on Hisoka was Ernie (named after my dog) who vanished after a short but intense difference of opinion with Tsuzuki about appropriate subjects to film, never to be seen again. No one knows where he went, except perhaps Tsuzuki, and he's not telling.

Finally, while I truly enjoy writing this fic, my muse of good ideas ran off and did not leave me a forwarding address. So I am turning to you, dearest readers, if you have any ideas, or anything you would like to see happen in this fic, please let me know. While I probably won't use every suggestion, they will all be appreciated, after all, I am writing this without a clue.

So without further ado,

**Chapter 9**

Tatsumi had been in his office since early morning, working diligently to salvage the reports that had been trapped in concrete the previous day, especially since he would be waiting several lifetimes if he had to wait for Tsuzuki to recreate his reports.

He looked up at the blonde haired youth who had been helping him for the last several hours, methodically using a chisel to chip concrete away from the reports, careful not to damage the paper.

Damned potions.

"Watari-san."

The somewhat youthened scientist looked up and regarded him with cheerful amber eyes. "Aa, Tatsumi?"

"Why don't you go get some lunch? We've been at this for a long time."

Those amber eyes grew wide and shiny. "Does that mean you've forgiven me?" Watari asked, clasping his hands together in expectation.

"Hardly. You ruined my favourite suit."

"How can it be your favourite? All your suits look the same!"

"I got it on sale."

"Well then you should be happy that I didn't ruin one of the more expensive ones."

Tatsumi sighed in exasperation "I don't feel like arguing with a teenager. Why did you make that potion anyways?"

Watari shrugged. "I made it before, I just wanted to see if I could recreate it."

"Didn't you turn yourself and Tsuzuki into children last time?"

"Yup. This time I took a smaller amount."

"Why?"

Watari shrugged again. "I had to make sure it worked! And I thought that Bonmight like the company,besides,this way my clothes still fit." Just to prove his words, his habitual lab coat chose that moment to fall off of his diminished frame. "Well, almost fit." He amended.

Tatsumi gave him a long suffering look. "Go get some lunch."

Watari saluted with a genki grin. "Aye, aye sir." And exited the office.

Tatsumi shook his head. Why were his coworkers all insane? He got up from his desk and picked up his watering can. A serene smile formed on his lips as he began to water his plants. His potted plants made him feel content, but not as much as his potted Gushoshin. Buried up to his shoulders in the rich earth, Gushoshin's bright red hat nicely complemented the brick red of the planter.

**(Meanwhile)**

"Tsuzuki no baka! Get off of me!"

Hisoka made a vain effort to shake off his partner who had spent the entire morning following and clinging to him.

"But Hiiiisssssssoka, THE DIRECTOR's out to get you and I want to make sure you're alright!"

Hisoka gave another shake but failed to dislodge the violet eyed man who seemed to think that Hisoka was vulnerable to the schemes of the evil short squat bald man with no hair unless being actively held.

Needless to say the empath heartily disagreed, as Tsuzuki had not let go once in several hours. "Tsuzuki…" he growled threateningly.

Tsuzuki responded to the menace in his voice by going completely inu. Ears and tail drooping, he squeezed the object of his affection tighter. "But Hiiiiiisssssssooookkkaaaa!"

"Sit boy!"

Tsuzuki tilted his head (adorably) to the side and looked confused.

Hisoka slapped himself in the forehead. "Oh crap, wrong anime!"

Tsuzuki resumed his clinging, and Hisoka, in a desperate, last ditch attempt to gain his freedom, at least long enough to use the bathroom, dug through his pockets and conveniently discovered a lone blueberry pastry. The inu's eyes widened and sparkled as he spotted the treat.

With a hard flick of his wrist, Hisoka sent the pastry flying down the hallway and Tsuzuki eagerly chased after it.

The moment he was free from his partner's rather annoying after three consecutive hours embrace, Hisoka took off in the opposite direction.

**(In another office across the building)**

Kanoe sat in his office and lowered his head to his desk. So far he had successfully managed to stay completely out of the nuttiness that had infected the offices and employees of Enma-cho since the training film had begun. He breathed a sigh of relief when he realized that the author had no intention of dragging him into the story, yet.

**(Back where we began)**

Tatsumi had finished watering his plants and his planted chicken and was settling himself back at his desk when there was a knock at his door.

"Come in."

The door opened and Tatsumi fought the urge to shield his eyes from the glare of the lights reflected off THE DIRECTOR's bald head.

"Ah, Mr Tatsumi, have you by any chance seen…" THE DIRECTOR trailed off as he noticed the potted Gushoshin. "Oh! There it is!" He strode into office and picked up the bright red cap, unheeding of the helpless spluttering coming from the planter. "Thank you Mr. Tatsumi." And without waiting for a response, he turned and left the office, closing the door behind him.

Tatsumi stood nonpulsed for a moment, then, noticing the impotent fury of the not floating at the moment chicken, went over to his desk and locked one of the drawers.

"I'm keeping the bandana."

**XXX**

_The scene opened on a lone figure sitting alone at a round table. His chin was propped on his hand as he munched on a pastry. Dark chocolate hair fell across violet eyes that stared off into space._

_A soft cough sounded from behind the camera._

_Violet eyes turned towards the camera looking slightly surprised. "Oh! Hi."_

"_Hi." Came a voice from off camera. "Do you mind?" The scene shifted briefly._

"_I guess not." Tsuzuki finished the last bite of the pastry and looked up at the camera. "Does this mean you guys aren't going to chase me around anymore?"_

_There was a snort from off camera. "Joe said we had to be nice."_

"_Who's Joe?" Tsuzuki asked._

"_Joe's the new guy, haven't you met him yet?_

"_No."_

"_Hey Bob" The voice off camera called out, sounding a little farther away. "Have you seen Joe?"_

"_Yeah." Called back another voice sounding even more distant. "He went to see if the kid wanted to go out for lunch with him again."_

"_Kid? Lunch? **Again?**" Tsuzuki sputtered, he advanced quickly, passing the camera which turned to follow him out of the break room and down the hall._

"_Hisoka?" Tsuzuki called out when he reached their office, looking slightly miffed when he received no answer. _

"_Hey, is that him?" The voice from off camera asked as the scene shifted to show two young blondes walking away down the hall. About the same height, arms linked. The long haired sunny blonde appeared to be dragging the lighter blonde along._

_Tsuzuki looked down the hallway. "Yeah, that's him, but who's that with him? Is that Joe?"_

"_Nope. Don't know who the other kid is."_

_The camera fell behind as Tsuzuki jogged down the hall and tapped the long haired blonde on the back. _

_Both boys turned around and Tsuzuki fell back in surprise. "Watari?"_

_Watari grinned up at him, holding one of Hisoka's arms through his own. "Hey Tsuzuki! I never realized how tall you are! I can see up your nose!"_

_Hisoka scowled feeling the surprise from his partner. "Okay, so he didn't put you up to this." he said to the genki, now teenage scientist. "So why are you dragging me down to the lab?"_

_Watari grinned at him. "It's a surprise."_

_Hisoka rolled his eyes in annoyance. "You know, all I really wanted was a little time to myself today, is that so much to ask?"_

"_Aw Soka!" Tsuzuki threw his arms around him. "It's just because we love you so much."_

"_Baka!" Hisoka snapped out, but his eyes had softened._

"_Awww! What a sweet moment!" Watari threw his arms around the pair of them. "Group hug!"_

"_Group hug!" Cried two familiar feminine voices. _

_Hisoka perked up at the sound like a deer scenting danger. "Let me go!" He yelled as he struggled to remove himself from the two affectionate sets of arms that were wrapped around him._

_Too late._

_Two more warm bodies landed on the heap as Saya and Yuma enthusiastically joined in the hug. _

"_Hisoka-kun!"_

"_Soka-chan!"_

"_We love you!" The pair sang out in tandem._

_Hisoka's thoughts began to swinging between murder and suicide._

_Tsuzuki noticed that his partner was not in a happy position and immediately dragged him out from under all the enthusiastic glomping._

"_Soka-chan is mine!" He sang out happily as he pulled the not happy youth into a protective embrace._

_For a moment Hisoka considered turning his partner into a pile of mashed potatoes, but Tsuzuki had gotten him out of the pile where he was being crushed, both physically and emotionally, so he let it pass. Turning in his partners' embrace he looked up at the man. "I'm going to go out and get a bit to eat with Joe."_

_Tsuzuki's eyes turned serious. "Who's Joe?"_

_Hisoka shrugged. "Just a guy. I told him I'd show him that restaurant where we got the really good raymun."_

"_Do you want me to come with you?"_

"_Nah." Sensing his partner's need for reassurance, Hisoka gave him a quick kiss, oblivious of his audience. "I'll see you later."_

_Tsuzuki looked surprised, but the smile that warmed his face was dazzling._

_Hisoka pulled away and headed off down the hallway._

"_Aaaaawwwwwww!" Chorused three voices from the floor._


	10. Chapter 10

**Intermission**

Jenna: Alright, Let's try something new, shall we? Let's have a brainstorming session, any ideas anyone?

Tsu: Nope

Hisoka: Nu-uh.

Jenna: Well you guys were a lot of help. Watari?

Watari: You could let me change Bon into a female.

Jenna: (Look of shock) He'd kill me. I happen to like my life! Let's try this, what have you guys liked so far?

Tsu: (Bouncing) Snuggling with Soka in bed on the weekend!

Hisoka: Hentai!

Tsu: Where you're concerned, absolutely!

Jenna & Watari: Awwwwww!

Hisoka: Cut it out you guys. (Bonks Jenna and Watari on the heads)

Watari: Ouch! Bon!

Jenna: So cruel! You better behave yourself, or I'll let THE DIRECTOR get you and you'll spend the next two chapters being a DiD.

Tsu: What's a DiD?

Jenna: Damsel in Distress.

Hisoka: You wouldn't!

Jenna: Try me!

Watari: (aside to Tsu) She would.

Jenna: Or worse yet, I could let Watari give Tsuzuki those pictures that were mentioned in chapter 6, was it chapter 6? (under breath) I've been meaning to do that anyway.

Watari: I already gave the pictures to Bon, he's probably made confetti out of them by now.

Hisoka: Yup!

Tsu: (to Watari) I thought you said you made copies!

Hisoka: COPIES!

Watari: (to Tsu) Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Ack!

Hisoka: (strangling Watari) You made copies! How many! I better get them all or I'll…

Jenna: Uh, Hisoka, I don't think he can breathe.

Hisoka: (still strangling Watari) That's okay, he's dead, he doesn't need to.

Tsu: Then what's the point of strangling him?

Hisoka: It makes me feel better.

Jenna: Okay. Back to the story, what should we do?

Hisoka: I could hit Muraki again.

Jenna: You liked that did you?

Hisoka: (grins) Made my day, but the chair was too small, how about a tank? And I want to hit THE DIRECTOR next time too.

Jenna: Not THE DIRECTOR! (pulls short squat bald man with no hair into a protective embrace) He's my OC! I've worked really hard to make him as annoying as possible!

Hisoka: You succeeded.

Tsu: Oh yeah.

Watari: He's not that bad.

Tsu & Hisoka: (Glares at Watari)

Tsu: There Jenna, let THE DIRECTOR go after Watari in the next chapter.

Hisoka: Great idea!

Jenna: (looking thoughtful) Actually, that has potential.

Watari: Cool! I always wanted to be a movie star!

Tsu: You did?

Watari: Well no, not really, but if she thinks I'll enjoy it, she may not bother writing it.

Jenna: Keep dreaming.

Hisoka: So, so far you've had me chase an idiot who wanted Tsuzuki in skimpy gold things, you've had THE DIRECTOR threaten a demon with make-up. You've had Watari blow up his lab and successfully make his gender change potion, and Watari, if you better keep that stuff away from me. You've had Gushoshin's hat stolen three times and encased Tatsumi in concrete. What else?

Tsu: She's had you lock yourself in a bathroom and a closet.

Hisoka: I was happy in the closet.

Tsu: With Tatsumi.

Hisoka: Nothing happened.

Tsu: For two hours.

Hisoka: We tried on your hats.

Watari: (to Tsu) I've never seen you in a hat.

Hisoka: He collects them, it's like a fetish thing.

Tsu: (blushes)

Watari: O.O'

Jenna: You know, I could just end this fic and write myself a nice little story with lots of kidnapping, torture, angst and bondage. Focus people, I need ideas!

Watari: Why don't we throw a party?

Tsu: Yeah!

Hisoka: What kind of idea is that?

Watari: You prefer bondage?

Hisoka: Parties are good!

Jenna: A party for what?

Watari: Tatsumi's birthday, we'll throw him a surprise party!

Tsu: I don't think Tatsumi will let us throw a party, not even for his birthday.

Watari: Of course not, we'd have to get rid of him for the day!

Jenna: (aside to Hisoka) Is it Tatsumi's birthday?

Hisoka: No.

Watari: It'll be great, we can bring in all the shinigami from other sectors, and everyone else!

Jenna: I don't know everyone else.

Watari: So make a couple up, we won't notice!

Hisoka: I'll notice.

Watari: Don't worry Bon, we'll get you drunk first, then even if you do notice, you won't care.

Tsu: Or be conscious.

Jenna: No good. Hisoka's already spending most of his time out cold in my other fic, I'd rather keep him awake here.

Watari: We can have karaoke!

Tsu: And balloons!

Watari: And truth or dare!

Tsu: And food!

THE DIRECTOR: (points at Hisoka) And he can disappear.

Jenna: (to THE DIRECTOR) Shhhhhhhhhh!

Hisoka: Who asked you?

THE DIRECTOR (sticks out tongue at Hisoka)

Tsu: Jenna! You wouldn't make Hisoka disappear, would you?

Jenna: Not telling.

Watari: (aside to THE DIRECTOR) Would she?

THE DIRECTOR: Yup!

Tsu: No! (glomps Hisoka)

Jenna: Don't worry Tsuzuki, even if I made Hisoka disappear, you'd get the reunion scene when I brought him back.

Tsu & Hisoka: Reunion scene?

Jenna: Lots of snuggling.

Tsu: Let's skip the disappearing part and go right to the reunion!

Hisoka: We can skip the party too!

Jenna: You wish!

Watari: You can't skip the party Bon! How else am I going to manage to get you drunk?

Hisoka: (aside to Jenna) Does Joe's ethical job extend to alcohol?

Jenna: (To Hisoka) It can.

Tsu: Am I ever going to get to meet Joe?

Jenna: I haven't decided yet.

Watari: Who's Joe?

Jenna & Hisoka & Tsu: Never mind.

Jenna: Hey Watari, has 003 even made an appearance in this story yet?

Watari: Um, now that you mention it, I don't think so.

Jenna: Holy crap! I think I have an idea!

Hisoka: Good, great, can we go home now? It's three in the morning.

Jenna: (waving) Sure, I've got work to do! Ja ne!


	11. Chapter 11

I'm still here!

I had an idea, but oddly enough, I didn't use it. Ah well, maybe next time! I hope this will do.

So, on with the show!

**Scene 10**

"A party?" Enthusiasm and glee coloured Tsuzuki's voice.

"A party?" Dread coloured Hisoka's.

"A party!" Wakaba clapped her hands together in excitement.

"A party." Watari nodded, his eyes narrowing in determination.

"I can't believe it! We're going to have a surprise birthday party for Tatsumi!" Tsuzuki and Wakaba grinned at each other.

"Oh, it'll definitely be a surprise." Hisoka pointed out, "His birthday's not till December"

"Oh c'mon Bon, It'll be fun!" Watari grinned at the eternal youth.

"I doubt it."

"Saya and Yuma will be here soon, Wakaba, you made food right?"

"Yup!"

Tsuzuki cheered.

Hisoka groaned.

"And the birthday boy has been conveniently taken care of." Watari concluded.

"How did you manage that?" Hisoka wanted to know.

Watari grinned. "Well, it seems that he received a ticket to a free seminar entitled…" He cleared his throat. "How to increase your productivity and lower your bottom line, the art of teaching your employees to multi-task."

Tsuzuki's eyes widened in horror. "No!"

Watari's grin widened. "Don't worry Tsuzuki, there's no such thing, but Tatsumi will be gone all day trying to follow the directions!"

Hisoka looked disgusted. "Have you no shame?"

Watari adopted an innocent expression that was completely belied by the mischievous sparkle in his eyes. "None at all!"

**(Many hours and drinks later)**

Crouched down behind a table a trio of conspirators gathered. The lights were low, the music pounding, and the party was in full swing.

"How much longer are we going to wait?" Saya fingered the coil of rope that she had draped over one arm.

"He's not drunk yet!" Yuma pointed out.

"And he's not going to get that way if he keeps pouring his drinks into Tsuzuki's glass!" Watari said despairingly. "Tsuzuki on the other hand is about ready to start table dancing!"

Saya and Yuma giggled. "He did that about half an hour ago, but you missed it while you were mixing up the next batch of punch."

"I missed it!" Watari whined.

"Yup! And it probably would have turned into a strip tease if 'Soka-chan hadn't dragged him down by his ear!"

"That's it!" Watari stood up in determination, "We've got to get Bon drunk!"

"And tied up!" Saya interjected.

"Only then can the festivities truly begin! Everyone else here is pleasantly plastered, he is the only hold out. I'm going to brew some coffee, wish me luck!"

"Good luck!" The girls chorused with another round of giggles.

As the three moved out in pursuit of their goals, another figure unnoticed in the shadows behind them sighed and shook his head.

**(Meanwhile)**

Tatsumi pulled over and put his car into park.

"Okay, I follow third street for twenty minutes then make a left onto Oak, travel two blocks and take a right at the second stop sign, then I follow the yellow brick road until I reach the central shopping plaza…"

He sighed, if he didn't know any better…

**XXX**

THE DIRECTOR and the elegant man sat at opposite ends of a long dinning table. The last bite had been consumed and after dinner drinks had been served.

"Shall we get back to the film?" THE DIRECTOR asked.

"Of course." The elegant man rose to his feet carrying his glass of brandy. He led the way back to the room where the projector waited.

The elegant man found his seat on the sofa as THE DIRECTOR fed in a new reel of film, and at an expectant look from the elegant man, flicked off the lights and turned on the projector.

_Tsuzuki and Watari stood outside a closed door leaning close together._

"_Is he drunk enough yet?" Tsuzuki whispered._

"_Almost!" Watari answered. "Kanoe is just one step away from being an eager party-goer. One more of my coffees should do it."_

_Tsuzuki looked at the mug in Watari's hand in awe. "What do you put in those things?"_

_Watari grinned. "A little bit of everything!"_

"_And you can't taste the alcohol?_

"_Nope, not at all."_

_Tsuzuki returned the grin. "So where's mine?"_

_Watari gave him a mock frown and knocked on the door. "Hey chief! Do you want another coffee?"_

"_S'alright, I don't have any." Came a slightly slurred voice from inside the office._

_Watari snickered and pushed his way inside. _

_Tsuzuki turned and hurried away, the scene following him as he made his way to the break room where Wakaba had enlisted Terazuma and an unidentified crew member to move tables and chairs as she piled food on one long table against the wall. She looked up as Tsuzuki entered the room._

"_Oh no you don't!"_

_Tsuzuki tried his best to look innocent. "Don't what!"_

"_You're not sampling anything yet." Wakaba smiled at him. "Why don't you go and see if Saya and Yuma need any help with the decorations."_

_Tsuzuki looked crestfallen, but nodded and slunked out of the room_.

_The scene faded, then brightened marginally and a heavy base music came over the room._

The elegant man winced slightly and looked at the short squat bald man with no hair and the ever-present red cap who sat beside him. "Could we turn it down a bit?"

THE DIRECTOR grinned. "Not if we want to hear what's being said, they had that music up pretty loud!"

_Sweeping over a crowded room the camera finally came to rest on a very drunk Tsuzuki, who was in the process of climbing up on a table. Wobbling unsteadily, the violet eyed man managed to get himself upright and began to move to the music. _

_There were immediate whistles and a female voice cried over the din "Take it off!"_

_A silly grin flittered over Tsuzuki's face as he began to undo the buttons of his shirt, still managing to sway to the music and not fall off the table._

The elegant man leaned forward. "Can we turn it up?"

_With a great deal of effort, Tsuzuki managed to undo the first three buttons, then an outraged shriek caused him to jump and stumble, almost upsetting his precarious balance._

"_Tsuzuki no baka! What the hell do you think you are doing!" Shrieked an enraged voice. _

_The camera jostled and swung madly for a moment before turning back to the table in time to see Tsuzuki flailing about as he was pulled from the table headfirst. By luck or fate, or Hisoka's grip on his ear, the violet eyes man narrowly avoided face planting the floor._

_Straightening up, Tsuzuki stumbled slightly and leaned heavily on the smaller blonde who frowned up at him. "I swear Tsuzuki, tomorrow, when you have the world's worst hang-over, I'm going to spend the entire day listening to heavy metal music and Barney songs."_

_Tsuzuki grinned at the threat. "Who are you planning to torture? Me or you?"_

"_I won't be the one with a monster headache." Hisoka pointed out._

"_Tsuzuki! Kurosaki! Over here!" A female voice cried out and the two Shinigami turned around, one quickly, the other a little unsteady._

"_Chidsuru!" Tsuzuki cried out and hurried toward the young woman who was making her way towards them. "When did you get here?"_

"_Just a little while ago." The Okinawa Shinigami told him. "Saya and Yuma told me that I had to come. It's good to see you again to Kurosaki." She said bowing politely to Hisoka._

_The camera panned away as the camera man apparently lost interest in the conversation and focused for a short while on two people trying to have a peanut throwing contest. When the camera finally turned back, the three shinigami had left._

_Swinging over the active partiers, the camera finally found the blonde empath sitting in an overstuffed chair near the corner of the room. His eyes were closed and his face was blank, he almost looked asleep, but one hand was tapping lightly on the arm of the chair._

"_Hey Bon!"_

_A taller man with long blonde hair spilling over his shoulders came into the scene and leaned over the youth._

_Green eyes opened and regarded the scientist with mild annoyance. "What."_

"_You don't look like you're having a good time." Watari said with a genki grin._

_Hisoka sighed. "Too many people. I think I will be the one with a monster headache tomorrow."_

"_Here." Watari held out a mug._

_Hisoka looked at him like he was insane "Are you kidding? I remember what you did to the orange juice!"_

_Watari gave him a sheepish look. "Yeah, sorry about that Bon, my calculations were a little off. But this is just coffee. I made some for Kanoe and I thought you might like some."_

_Hisoka accepted the mug with a distrustful look and took a cautious sip. After a moment he looked up. "Thanks."_

_The scientist flashed him a victory sign and disappeared off into the crowd._

_A few minutes passed and Hisoka sipped at his coffee. The camera drifted away and back several times before another figure approached the overstuffed chair._

"_Hey kid."_

"_Hey…" Hisoka blinked rapidly. "Joe."_

"_There are a couple of people around here who are planning to get you drunk and tie you up for some reason."_

_Hisoka looked surprised. "Oh no! That's bad!" He jumped up and promptly fell on his face._

_Joe sighed. "It looks like they succeeded with the getting you drunk part!" Joe moved to help the younger man, but he was pushed out of the way by two squealing giggling females._

"_It's about time!" The one with the shorter hair proclaimed._

"_Come on, get his arms." The other said, grabbing the limp limbs, quickly tying them together._

_Together the two girls began dragging Hisoka's unconscious form from the party._

"_Excuse me ladies." The two girls turned and looked at the man they didn't recognize. "I don't think he'll be too happy if you carry out whatever you have planned for him."_

_Joe stepped forward and lifted Hisoka into his arms._

"_Hey!"_

"_You can't…"_

_He ignored the protests as he carried Hisoka away from the conniving pair. "Let's get you out of here shall we?" He asked the oblivious form in his arms._


	12. Chapter 12

I'm afraid this scene is just some filler and a couple of things I just had to stick in there. Sorry, I really don't know what I was thinking! I wouldn't even bother reading it if I were you!

As always, I own nada.

**Scene 11**

Tsuzuki groaned as he opened his eyes, his head throbbing painfully. It took him a few minutes before he realized that he couldn't see anything, and he was definitely not in his bed. In fact he was lying propped up against something hard.

"Hey! This lump's moving!"

Suddenly there was a flurry of movement and the world was bright again. Tsuzuki squinted against the light and tried to focus on the faces that were looming over him. Blinking, the worried faces of Watari, Saya and Yuma came into view. Saya held a table cloth that had apparently been covering him.

"C'mon Tsuzuki, get up!" Watari said, trying to give the other man a hand to his feet.

Tsuzuki pushed away from the wall and gritted his teeth as a wave of nausea swept over him. "How much did I drink?" He asked, trying to clear the cobweb from his head.

"More than I did!" Watari said pushing a glass into his hand. "Here, drink that, it'll help."

Tsuzuki gulped down the contents of the glass and began to gag. "Ungh, Watari, what did I just drink?"

"Don't ask."

But the nausea went away and the headache began to subside, Tsuzuki slumped in relief.

"Tsuzuki, do you know where Bon is?"

Tsuzuki looked up. "No, why?"

"He's been kidnapped!" Saya burst out.

"That man just picked him up and walked out with him!" Yuma added.

"What!" Tsuzuki asked in alarm, "What man?"

Saya and Yuma exchanged a look. "We don't know, we've never seen him before."

Alarm was beginning to turn into mild panic. "Did Hisoka fight back or seem afraid?"

Two sets of eyes shifted away guiltily and refused to meet his. "Um no…" Yuma said softly.

"He was kinda passed out at the time." Saya added.

Tsuzuki suddenly noticed that Watari was looking very guilty. "Watari, what happened?"

Watari swallowed hard and met Tsuzuki's eyes. "I gave Bon a coffee, like the one's I made for Kanoe."

"And he drank it and passed out." Tsuzuki summarized.

"Um, yeah."

"And a strange man picked him up and walked off with him."

Saya and Yuma nodded.

"AND NOBODY THOUGHT TO STOP HIM?"

Watari, Saya and Yuma all flinched at Tsuzuki's shout.

"What's going on here?"

The group turned to see the formidable secretary of Enma Cho standing in the doorway. Watari shuffled nervously. "Tatsumi! When did you get back?"

Tastumi fixed his eyes on the fidgeting scientist. "Just a few minutes ago."

"Um, how did you get back?"

A malevolent smile formed on Tatsumi's face. "I clicked my heels together three times and said 'There's no place like home.'"

Watari blanched and bolted passed Tatsumi and out of the room. Tatsumi moved to follow the fleeing blonde but was stopped by Tsuzuki who threw himself on the blue eyed man.

"Tatsumi, Hisoka's missing!"

Tatsumi looked down at violet eyes swimming with tears. "Have you checked the closet?"

**(Meanwhile somewhere not too far away.)**

Hisoka groaned as he opened his eyes, his head throbbing painfully. It took him one moment to realize that his hand were tied together, a second moment to realize that he was not in his own bed, in other words this was not like the last time he got drunk and he and Tsuzuki had…

Hisoka looked around. He was in a fairly normal looking bedroom, there was a dresser, a chair over by an open closet, and a door that was swinging open.

A moment's panic touched Hisoka's mind until he saw the man who entered the room.

"Joe?"

"Hey kid, how are you feeling?"

"I'll survive." Hisoka regarded the man suspiciously. "Why are my hands tied?"

Joe's eyes opened wide. "Oh crap! I forgot! Give me a sec." He turned and rushed out of the room, returning a few minutes later with a pair of scissors. "Here, let me see." He held out his hand to Hisoka.

Hisoka eyed Joe warily, he had an aversion to other people holding sharp instruments while he had rope, duct tape, or any other bindings on him. Still, as there was little other choice, he held out his hands. Joe slid the scissors between his wrist and after a moment, successfully sawed through the ropes.

Hisoka rubbed his wrists and opened and closed his fists to get the circulation back into his finger tips, wincing as pins and needles started to prickle his hands.

"Sorry. I should have done that last night." Joe shrugged apologetically.

Hisoka sat up and noticed that he was in the same clothes he had been wearing the previous day. "How did I get here anyway?" His couldn't remember. "And why was I tied up?"

Joe grinned. "You got drunk at the party, and when you passed out, you were nearly kidnapped by these two girls…"

Hisoka immediately knew who Joe was referring to. "Thanks. But how did I get…" Two and two clicked together in his mind. Watari + coffee bad. "Never mind."

Hisoka climbed out of the bed and started towards the door. He was half way there when he stubbed his foot on something hard and fell. Looking at what had tripped him he saw an anvil sitting in the middle of the room. "What the hell is that?"

"Hard substance." Joe told him. "Don't worry about it."

Hisoka gave the man an odd look and got to his feet, continuing his journey to the door, albeit at a slower pace.

Joe trailed behind him. "I have tea and breakfast in the kitchen, and if you'd like you can borrow the shower."

Hisoka nodded gratefully, sleeping in his clothes was not something he really enjoyed doing. "I've got to call the office first, um, what time is it?"

Joe checked his watch. "Quarter to eleven."

Hisoka's emerald eyes widened. "That late! I should have been at work two hours ago!"

**(Back at the offices of Enma-Cho)**

THE DIRECTOR blinked in surprise. "So you lost your partner, why are you asking me about it?"

Violet eyes focused intently on the short squat bald man with no hair, who adjusted the odd red cap on his head nervously under the steady glare.

"You tried to make off with him once, why shouldn't I think you'd do it again?"

A slightly nasty smile formed on THE DIRECTOR's face. "Well, I didn't, if I had, I would have the cameras on you at this moment. You are supposed to be the star of this production, remember?"

Tsuzuki scowled and opened his mouth to reply but was cut off.

"This film is a very important endeavor and …"

Something above and behind the chattering man flashed.

The man kept talking, but Tsuzuki was no longer listening. His attention was now focused on something small and shiny just a few inches above THE DIRECTOR's head. Whatever is was swung lazily back and forth, almost hypnotically.

With a start Tsuzuki realized that it was a hook, hanging at the end of a very fine line. Following the line with his eyes he saw Gushoshin hiding on top of a high shelf with a fishing pole gripped tightly in his hands, concentrating wholly on his task.

The hook lowered a little farther, and as Tsuzuki watched, it caught on the brim of the red cap perched on THE DIRECTOR's head.

Ever so slowly the red cap was separated from the bald head, and the short squat bald man with no hair didn't notice as he rambled on to Tsuzuki.

Gushoshin grabbed his hat as soon as it was within reach, and sticking out tongue at the oblivious man, zoomed out of the room.

"…so you should be giving us your full co-operation!" THE DIRECTOR concluded.

Tsuzuki turned and left the room in disgust.

**(About an hour later)**

Hisoka arrived at the office that he shared with Tsuzuki without running into anyone. The hallways of Enma-cho seemed oddly disserted. He made his way to his desk and began to work his way through the day's paperwork.

**(At the same time)**

Tsuzuki sat in Tatsumi's office, a whimpering mass of worry and near panic.

Tatsumi sighed in exasperation. "Tsuzuki, I'm sure that where ever Kurosaki-kun is, he is fine. The entire office is out looking for him…" a frown touched Tatsumi's face, so much for increased productivity, "And I'm sure that someone will find him."

Big violet eyes shimmering with tears looked up at the secretary for reassurance. "Promise?"

Tatsumi sighed again. "Go get your coat Tsuzuki, we'll go out and look for him too if it will make you feel better."

Tsuzuki nodded eagerly and jumped up. He rushed out of Tatsumi's office and down the hallway with the secretary following behind him at a more sedate pace.

Tsuzuki turned at his office and hurried over to grab his coat, barley sparing a glace for the small blonde seated at the other desk, diligently filling out reports.

"What's wrong with you?" Hisoka asked, looking up at him.

"Soka's missing…" Tsuzuki began before his brain caught up with him. "HISOKA!"

Hisoka suddenly found himself crushed under his partners weight at the ecstatically relieved man threw himself on him.

"Baka yarou! Get off of me!"

"No." Tsuzuki replied, burying his face in Hisoka's hair.

"I can't breath!"

That got Tsuzuki to move slightly. "Are you all right?" Tsuzuki began running his hands down Hisoka's body looking for injuries.

"I'm fine." Hisoka said as he tried to slap Tsuzuki's hands away. "So cut it out already."

"Are you alright Kurosaki-kun?"

Hisoka turned to see solemn blue eyes regarding him and his face flushed a vivid crimson hue. "Aa, I'm fine, thank you. I'm sorry I was late today." He took another swipe at Tsuzuki's still wandering hands.

"And what was the reason for your tardiness?"

If possible, Hisoka's blush got even brighter. "I'm afraid I somehow managed to get a little drunk last night."

Tatsumi opened his mouth to respond but was cut off by voices behind him

"Bon!" (Watari)

"Soka-chan!" (Saya and Yuma, in tandem, with little hearts popping around them)

"Hisoka-kun!" (Wakaba)

"Hey kid." (Terazuma)

"Kurosaki!" (Chidsuru)

"Hisoka-san!" (The Gushoshin)

"Waa! Hisoka!" (The Happy Little Elf)

"Bon's back!" Watari cheered. "This calls for a par…"

Tatsumi grabbed the over excited blonde by the ear. "Don't even say it!" He said as he pulled the other man bodily away.

**XXX**

The elegant man waited patiently as the short squat bald man with the odd red cap perched on his head threaded a new reel of film into the projector.

"Are we ready?" Asked THE DIRECTOR.

"Of course" The elegant man turned his attention to the screen.

THE DIRECTOR flicked the switch and….

_The screen was dark._

"What the…?" THE DIRECTOR turned a knob and the film ran through the projector at a quicker pace.

_The screen was still dark._

"Well?" The elegant man asked, aching one elegant brow.

THE DIRECTOR pulled out the reel of film and began unrolling it, holding it to the light. "It seems that the camera man forgot to take the lens cap off the camera!"


	13. Chapter 13

Konichi wa minna-san!

First thing, a note to Koneko with the unusual eyes:

I was actually planning to put Film and Screen on a temporary hiatus, partly 'cause I didn't have any really good ideas and partly 'cause I wanted to spend more of my time on my newest fic. But your (very long, wow!) review changed my mind. It's nice to know that there are loyal fans, (YOU!) out there! So I will keep this fic going, please excuse any excess weirdness, perplexing moments, and general insanity, as I am not all there and will probably be digging deep into this quagmire I sometimes call a mind.

Anyone who is relieved by this, thank Koneko!

Anyone who is not, Thbbbbbbbbbth! (Raspberries to you!)

So on with the show!

**Scene 12**

Hisoka very slowly moved.

There was no response.

Carefully letting out his pent up breath, he very, very slowly started to ease himself out of the bed.

He almost made it this time.

Just before his foot hit the floor, strong arms wrapped around his waist and pulled him back down. Hisoka blew up.

"Tsuzuki no baka! That's the fifth time! Let me up already! We should have been at work hours ago! Tatsumi will have my head for being late two days in a row, and he'll have yours for being late period."

Tsuzuki pinned the younger man to the bed. "Nope. I made sure Tatsumi knew we weren't coming in today."

Hisoka growled. "You can't keep me here all day, now Let. Me. Up!"

"Not a chance." Tsuzuki placed a kiss on his irate partners' forehead. "It really scared me when I thought you were missing. Now I just want to hold you for a while before we go back to regular routine."

Jade green eyes softened. "For a while, but we can't stay in bed all day"

"Yes we can."

Hisoka sighed. "No Tsuzuki, we really can't."

Tsuzuki grinned evilly. "Oh yes, we can. I'm not going to let you up and we're going to stay here alllllllll day long."

Hisoka started looking around for anything hard to whack him with, fortunately for Tsuzuki, the only thing with in reach of the bed was a pair of slippers, as a weapon they left something to be desired.

The phone rang.

"Tsuzuki!"

"Ignore it."

Frustrated Hisoka threw one of the slippers across the room. In a complete and utter coincidental fluke, it hit the phone dead on and knocked the receiver off the cradle.

"Hello? Um, hello?" The voice could barley be heard coming through the line.

"Help me!" Hisoka cried. "I'm in bed and I can't get up!"

**(At the offices of Enma-cho)**

Watari regarded the flying chicken who floated directly before him with large tears in it's eyes. "So why are you telling me all this?"

Gushoshin blinked, spilling some of the tears. "Because I can't find Tatsumi-san and I thought you could help me."

"Help you find Tatsumi, or help you find your hat?"

"Help me find my hat of course!"

"So where exactly did you loose it?"

"Well, I got it back from that short squat evil bald man with no hair and tucked it in my belt and hurried back to the library as fast as I could, only to find that I'd dropped it somewhere on the way."

"Did you check to see if THE DIRECTOR got it back?"

Gushoshin nodded. "He's looking for it too. Please Watari-san, you've got to help me find it before he does!"

Watari sighed. "Okay, I'll help you find your hat." He paused for a moment, psyching himself up for the task.

It took two moments, but finally he was ready. "We are on a quest for the red hat, and we will be victorious!" He struck an appropriately victorious (weird) pose.

"GHOST!"

The horrified shriek echoed through the hallways, followed by the sound of running feet. A dozen of so unsound and unapt men went tearing past.

"What's going on?" Watari asked, reaching out and snagging a passing arm.

"There's a ghost in the break room!" The owner of the arm told him. "Run for it!"

Watari's eyes widened. "A ghost?" He looked back towards the break room, and then took off after the galloping horde. Gushoshin hurried behind him.

"Wait! What about my hat?"

**(Later)**

It was early afternoon and Hisoka was still trying to rationalize his way out of bed.

"What about food? I doubt you can go the whole day without eating."

Tsuzuki grinned. "I could, but I won't have to." He dug around under the sheets and pulled out a bag of potato chips.

Hisoka frowned. "And what about me, I don't want to eat that stuff."

Tsuzuki reached back under the covers and pulled out a couple of apples, a bowl of grapes, a loaf of bread, some sliced meat and cheese, a half full bottle of wine, two long stem glasses, a pint of strawberries…

Hisoka lifted the sheet and looked underneath it.

"What are you looking for?" Tsuzuki asked.

"The fridge! How did you get all that stuff in the bed?"

Tsuzuki wiggled his eyebrows "Magic!" He said mysteriously.

"Un huh, and are you going to 'magic' a bathroom into the bed too?" Hisoka asked.

Tsuzuki dug back under the sheet and pulled out a bed pan.

Hisoka promptly grabbed it and thunked it smartly off his partners' head.

**XXX**

The elegant man stretched gracefully and ran a hand through his dark hair. "Have you found it yet?"

"Yup!" A bald head with no hair sporting the ever-present odd red cap popped up from behind the projector. "I've got the next reel of film right here."

THE DIRECTOR jumped up and threaded the reel through the projector. Flipping the machine on, he made his way back to the couch and took his seat.

_The scene opened on an empty hall._

"_Alright, you go that way, I'll go this way." A high squeaky voice directed. "Be sure to check in Mr. Tsuzuki's office, he's got to be around here somewhere" _

_The camera bobbed slightly as it moved down the empty hallway, focusing on a door, a hand appeared and turned the knob. The door swung open to reveal an equally empty office._

"_Hello? Is there anybody in there?" Called out a disembodied voice._

_When, after a few minutes there was no answer, the camera turned and continued down the hall. _

_The scene past a floating chicken deep in discussion with a tall man with long blonde hair. "…and finally the hook caught, so I…"_

_The scene moved on until it reached another open door that the camera passed through. _

_There were several unambitious and unpolished men leaning against various counters, sprawled over various chairs, resting against several tables drinking coffee and devouring mounds of pastries and donuts. _

_There was a movement in the upper right hand side of the scene and the camera shifted in that direction. _

_There was a collective gasp of shock from the camera man and several others of the unendurable crowd as an odd red cap came floating into the room. It hovered for a few moments then suddenly dived towards a group of men who were gathered together staring at it._

_The unnerved and unheroic men took turns screaming as they scattered. "GHOST" someone dubbed the floating hat, and everyone in the room panicked accordingly._

_The scene jostled wildly and jerkily followed the fleeing masses, once again passing the (now rather surprised looking) blonde and floating chicken._

_The camera panned back showing the hall behind the running crowd. The blonde man had joined the flight pursued by the floating chicken, and behind them the red hat swooped into the hallway. It began to move quickly after the rapidly departing group of panicky men._

"_Get out of the way!" was the cry from ahead and the camera swung back in that direction to show that the fleeing men were rapidly approaching a tall man with dark hair and piercing sapphire eyes._

"_What in the world is going on here?" Tatsumi asked._

_Several of the men pointed back down the hallway where the hat was now floating back and forth across the hallway, several feet off the ground bobbing slightly._

"_Tatsumi!" Watari came to a stop directly in front of the other man. "There's a ghost!"_

_Tatsumi pinched the bridge of his nose between his fingers and looked like he was trying exceedingly hard not to commit mayhem upon his colleague. "Watari, in case it has escaped your attention, you're dead." He said in a strained voice. "Technically, you are a ghost. That is a floating red hat. Deal with it." He turned and walked away down the hall, shaking his head._

"_Well that was rather mean, don't you think so 003?" Watari turned his head to address the little owl who habitually sat at or on his shoulder only to find she wasn't there. "003?" Watari called._

_The red hat floated closer and hooted._

_Hooted?_

_Watari slowly approached the red hat as if expecting it to grow fangs and bite him. He reached out and grabbed it. The hat hooted happily. "What are you doing in there?" Watari asked as he extracted his tiny companion from the hat. "Did that mean Gushoshin drop his hat on you?"_

_003 nuzzled in Watari's hand and hooted softly before taking off to resume he regular place under the fall of Watari's hair._

_Watari began to turn around, intent on giving the no longer floating hat back to its proper floating owner when it was snatched out of his hand._

"_Thank you so much." Said THE DIRECTOR placing the hat atop his bald head. "I've been looking for that everywhere!" He turned to leave, gesturing to the not-quite-as-terrified-as-they-were-before men. "Come on you lot, we still have a film to make, has anyone seen Mr. Tsuzuki?" He wandered off before getting an answer. The group of men followed._

_The scene turned back to Watari who was still blinking in shock. He looked apologetically at Gushoshin._

_Gushoshin hung his head in defeat and slowly floated away. _

"_Every time! Every time I get it back, boom! There he is, and he takes off with it again! Maybe I should just give up, I could try growing some hair…"_

The elegant man stretched for a second time and suppressed a yawn. "Perhaps we should stop here for the night."

THE DIRECTOR immediately jumped up and flicked off the projector.

The elegant man stood as well. "I have to leave at the end of the week."

"So soon?" THE DIRECTOR asked.

"Yes, will there be enough time to watch all the film before I go? I won't be back for a while."

THE DIRECTOR considered. "Yes, I think we can probably manage to watch the whole thing.

"Good." The elegant man smiled as he showed the short squat bald man with no hair to the door. "'Till tomorrow then."

TBC

(A/N) Li-chan and I are having a bit of a disagreement. She says that 003 is zero zero three. I, for some unknown reason, seem to think that Watari is a James Bond fan and call her double oh three. I think it sounds better and it drives Li-chan crazy (Like that's not another reason to do it right there!) So am I as horribly wrong as she says I am?


	14. Chapter 14

Konichi wa! I'm back again!

The show must go on!

Oh, BTW, I've finally figured out who the elegant man is. I dare anyone to guess! (Not you Li-chan, you already know!)

**Scene 13**

Hisoka looked down at the piece of paper on the floor just inside the door. He picked it up and read the contents. A frown marred his features and he quickly took the note to the garbage and dropped it in.

Walking over to the bedroom he peeked in, Tsuzuki was still in bed, rolled up in a mountain of blankets. Hisoka walked into the room and gave the pile a shake.

"mummuff?" Tsuzuki asked his pillow.

Hisoka hid a smile that threatened at his partners early morning incoherency. "I've got to run into work for a while."

Tsuzuki rolled over and blinked. "Why?"

Hisoka shrugged. "Just some things I gotta take care of. I'll probably be back in time for lunch."

"I've got a better idea, let's spend the day in bed again."

Hisoka, prepared for such an idea, picked up the bedpan that had been dropped beside the bed and promptly rapped it off his partners head, again.

**(Somewhere not too far away)**

THE DIRECTOR rubbed his hands together in anticipation, as soon as Mr Tsuzuki got his note, he'd come into the office, and then he would have him. It was just a matter of time…

The ringing of his cell phone interrupted his thoughts and he pulled it out and pressed the send button.

"Hello….Oh, it's you….Of course I can meet you, where….Now? Um alright, I'll see you soon."

Pushing end, he shrugged to himself, oh well, there was always next time.

**(Later)**

Hisoka walked into the offices of Enma cho and headed straight to Tatsumi's office. The blue eyed secretary looked up as he knocked politely on the open door.

"Kurosaki-kun! What are you doing here?"

"You didn't by any chance send anyone over with a note for Tsuzuki to come into work today, did you?"

"No, of course not." Tatsumi exclaimed, and then let an evil smile touch his lips. "I was going to make him work over-time next weekend in payment for his days off."

The corner of Hisoka's lips twitched. "Aa, arigato Tatsumi-san, I didn't think it looked like your writing."

Leaving Tatsumi's office, Hisoka headed down the hall to his own and headed towards Tsuzuki's desk. Now that he knew the note had been a fake, he thought he'd just skim through yesterday's paperwork and then head home.

He had only made it half way across the room when something snagged his ankles, binding them together and pulling his feet out from under him. Hisoka let out a shout as he was flipped and found himself in a ludicrous position, hanging upside down from the office ceiling.

"Um, help?"

"Anyone?"

"Hello!"

**(Meanwhile)**

Tsuzuki puttered around the apartment with time on his hands. He wanted to do something special for Hisoka, after all the younger man had spent the entire day before in bed with him and all it cost him was a few lumps, and that was pretty special.

So what did you do for someone on a special day? A huge smile erupted on Tsuzuki's face.

You baked them a cake of course!

Tsuzuki bounded off to the kitchen.

**(At that exact moment)**

The entire population of Meifu (save for the happy would-be chef) came to a stand still as a disturbing sound rang through the air.

Du dum, du dum, dadadadadadadda…

**(Two fires and a huge mess later)**

Tsuzuki gazed proudly at his masterpiece.

Wow! It looked like a cake!

Tsuzuki wondered if he should ice it, then decided that that would probably make it too sweet for Hisoka's tastes.

He looked up at the clock. 12:10. Tsuzuki frowned. Hisoka should have been home by now, he'd said he'd be home in time for lunch.

With the cake done Tsuzuki had little to do, so he puttered around the kitchen.

He washed a spoon.

He looked at the clock. 12:14.

He opened and closed the fridge, then did it again for the heck of it.

He looked at the clock. 12:15.

He made faces at his refection in the toaster.

He looked at the clock. 12:18.

Tsuzuki started to look for something to put his cake into. He would go and surprise Hisoka at the office.

**(A little later)**

Hisoka was getting bored, very bored. He was also getting nauseous, swaying back and forth as he was.

Back and forth.

Back and forth…

Hisoka tried to think about anything else.

Back and forth…

"Dammit!"

"What the hell are you doing?"

Hisoka blinked and saw Joe standing in the doorway of the office. "I'm trying to gain a new perspective. Cut me down already!"

Joe put a hand over his mouth and Hisoka could feel the amusement the man was trying to conceal.

"JOE!"

"Okay, okay, I'll be back in a minute!"

Joe disappeared from sight leaving Hisoka hanging.

Back and forth.

Back and forth…

"That's a nice shade of green you've got going on there, matches your eyes." Joe grinned, coming back into the office.

Hisoka scowled.

Joe moved to where Hisoka was hanging and slipped an arm behind the boy's shoulders. "Better hang on, you don't want to land on your head!" Hisoka nodded and put an arm around Joe's neck.

With his other hand Joe reached up and began to saw through the rope above Hisoka's feet, the motion jerked Hisoka, and he tightened his grip on his rescuer.

After a minute the rope snapped and Joe dropped the knife and caught Hisoka's legs. Holding the younger man he looked into the leaf green eyes. "So, tell me why do I always seem to be saving you?" He grinned.

Hisoka didn't answer, after hanging upside down for so long he was dizzy, and pins and needles were assaulting his legs as the blood rushed back to them.

"What the hell are you doing?"

**XXX**

The short squat bald man with no hair admired the house as he was led to the sitting room where the elegant man waited.

The dark mahogany stairway that led in a graceful curve to the upper level of the house, Persian carpets, ornaments on display, everything spoke of good taste and quiet wealth.

The effect was lost on THE DIRECTOR (except for the wealth part) as he mentally tried to calculate the cost of the things he saw around him.

Coming to a stop before a closed door, he knocked softly.

"Come in."

THE DIRECTOR entered the room and the elegant man looked up from a folder he was paging through.

"Good morning, are you ready to get this show on the road?" THE DIRECTOR asked cheerfully.

The elegant man smiled softly and closed the folder, setting it aside. "Of course."

A few minutes work had the projector set up and the elegant man lowered the lights as THE DIRECTOR started the film.

_The scene opened showing the back of a dark haired man walking briskly down the familiar hallways of Enma-cho. The camera followed him as he turned into the break room and placed a package down on a table._

"_Hey Tsuzuki! What are you doing in here on a Saturday?" The camera turned to show Watari breezing into the room. "I'd have thunk that you would be spending the day snuggled up to bon!"_

_Tsuzuki turned around to face the genki scientist and grinned. "That was yesterday, I came in because Hisoka didn't come home when he was supposed to, so I thought I'd come in and surprise him."_

"_Bon's here?" Watari asked looking surprised._

_Tsuzuki nodded. _

"_Huh. I haven't seen him. Oh well, what's in the box?"_

"_What's in what box?" _

_Both Tsuzuki and Watari turned at the sound of the cheerful voice._

"_Hey Wakaba!" They said at the same time._

"_Jinx." Watari punched Tsuzuki on the arm._

"_Hidoi!" Tsuzuki whined and turned guilt-inducing eyes on the blonde._

_Watari just grinned. "That doesn't work on me."_

_Tsuzuki turned up the pathetic and pitiful factor in his watery gaze and Watari's grin began to fade._

_A fist came crashing down on Tsuzuki's head. "Cut it out you moron."_

_In the blink of an eye Tsuzuki switched from innocent whining to righteous fury as he whirl to face his least favourite person in the whole of Meifu. "Do you want to lose your hand Terazuma?"_

_Wakaba pushed her way between the two men. "That's enough. Hajime, behave."_

_Terazuma backed down, mumbling under his breath._

"_So what's in the box?" Wakaba asked again turning to give Tsuzuki a bright smile._

_Tsuzuki went over to the table and lifted the lid off of the box. "I baked a cake for Hisoka."_

_Du dum, du dum, dadadadadadadda…_

"_You baked a cake?" Watari asked, his eyes wide and fearful._

"_Yup!" Tsuzuki replied enthusiastically. "I just followed the directions on the box. It wasn't that hard."_

"_It looks okay." Wakaba said doubtfully, eyeing the cake._

_The cake actually looked rather normal, even edible._

"_Let's try some!" Watari suggested._

"_But it's for Hisoka…"_

"_Don't worry Tsuzuki, bon wouldn't mind, besides he couldn't eat a whole cake anyway." Watari pointed out._

"_Okay." Tsuzuki said cheerfully. "Someone grab a knife!"_

_Everyone gathered round as they prepared to cut the cake. (Except Terazuma who was sulking in the corner with a cup of coffee.)_

_Watari lowered the knife to the cake…and stopped._

"_Well, what are you waiting for?" Tsuzuki asked._

_Watari pushed down with more force. "It won't cut." Setting down the knife he picked up the cake and knocked it against the table. _

_It thunked._

"_What did you put in this Tsuzuki?"_

"_Nothing! I followed the directions on the box!"_

"_So you put in eggs, oil, water…"_

"_You put oil in your cakes?" Wakaba asked._

"_Of course, that's what the directions call for." Watari told her._

"_I usually skip the oil." Wakaba said._

"_You can do that?"_

_Wakaba nodded. "You total the amount of liquid called for between the oil and water, and half it. Half water, half milk. It makes the cake lighter."_

"_Um, you said water?"_

_Watari and Wakaba tuned to face Tsuzuki._

"_Yes, water, why?" Wakaba asked._

"_Um, the box didn't say anything about water."_

_Watari started to laugh._

"_Cake mixes are pretty standard Tsuzuki, they all require water." Wakaba told him, trying hard not to laugh herself._

"_He didn't…He…Water…" Watari tried to control himself between guffaws. "They even put pretty little pictures of the ingredients on the boxes and he still…" Watari decided it was just easier to point and laugh._

"_The box really didn't say anything about water!"_

"_It probably did." Wakaba said, beginning to giggle._

"_I'll bring the box in tomorrow and prove it to you." Tsuzuki declared, and strode out of the room._

"I don't know what they're laughing about, I thought the cake was pretty good."

The elegant man looked over at THE DIRECTOR in amazement. "You ate it?"

"Well, it was just sitting there when I went into the break room, so I had some. It was a little firm, but good."

The elegant man blanched.

Tsuzuki's cooking…

He shuttered.

_The scene followed close behind him as walked down to his office. At the open door he turned to enter and stopped dead._

_In the office was a tall somewhat attractive man with almost black hair and warm brown eyes that were gazing into the eyes of the slender figure he held securely in his arms._

"_What the hell are you doing?"_

_The tall man jumped as he looked up towards the camera (and Tsuzuki), his warm brown eyes widening in surprise and shock and he dropped the younger man._

_Hisoka's green eyes widened as he hit the ground with a muffled 'Oufff'_

"_Oh god! I'm so sorry!" The man moved to help the empath, but after another glance toward Tsuzuki seemed to think better of the idea and beat a hasty retreat from the office._

_Hisoka reached down and pulled a rope loose from around his ankles and staggered unsteadily to his feet. Tsuzuki moved to help him_

"_Hisoka? What…"_

_Hisoka brushed him aside. "Joe no baka!" He yelled taking off after the other man. "When I get my hands on you…"_

"_Wait!" Tsuzuki called after the sprinting youth, then he took off after Hisoka. "Come back here!"_

_The scene moved to the window, looking out at the sakura trees, the delicate petals falling gently in the wind. For a few moments it was peaceful._

_Then Joe went running through the trees being chased by Hisoka, who was being chased by Tsuzuki._

"_Baka minna." Came a voice from off screen._

_The camera turned to show Tatsumi who was also looking out the window, before he turned and headed back to his office._

_Somewhere in the distance, Watari still howled with laughter._

**XXX**

A/N - The cake is (was) real. One of my best friends made it. I was the one doing the pointing and laughing. Between Ko-chan and Tsuzuki, I'm not sure whose cooking would kill you first.


	15. Chapter 15

Konnici wa minna-san!

I am so sorry this took so long, and I promise I will try to get the next chapter out quicker.

Disclaimers: I own nothing, not yami, not jello (well okay, there's some jello in my cupboard, but it's not mine either!), nada! Please don't sue, not that I have anything worth suing for!

**Scene 14**

Tatsumi smiled to himself as he listened to the sound of his footsteps echoing through the empty hallways of Enma-cho. It was worth coming into the office on a Sunday, if only for the peace and quite that allowed him to get through more work than at any other point in the week.

Stepping into his office he closed the door behind him, more out of habit than anything. Sitting at his desk he prepared to tackle the never-ending pile of papers.

He had barley written the first word when he was interrupted by a knock at the door.

"Come in." He called before he had thought about it.

Hisoka stepped quietly into the office and made his way over to the desk. "I need a favour Tatsumi-san."

"And what would that be Kurosaki-kun?"

"Would you please tell Tsuzuki that I am not having an affair with Joe."

Tatsumi looked mildly surprised. "Who's Joe?"

"Joe's the guy I was chasing yesterday."

"I see. So you were chasing him, but you're not having an affair with him."

"Right."

"So then why would Tsuzuki think that you were having an affair?"

Hisoka rolled his eyes. "Apparently because I called him a baka."

"You normally call him a baka." Tatsumi pointed out.

"No, not Tsuzuki, I called Joe a baka."

"Why?"

"Because he dropped me."

"He dropped you?" Tatsumi asked, sounding a little sceptical.

Green eyes narrowed. "Yes, he dropped me. Would you like to see the bruise?"

"I'm sure that won't be necessary. Why don't you just tell Tsuzuki that you aren't having an affair yourself?"

Hisoka sighed and sank into a chair in front of Tatsumi's desk. "I've tried, but he's not listening to me. He is the most stubborn, hard-headed, mulish, obdurate…"

"Kurosaki-Kun, do you really think it would make a difference if I told him?"

"At least he'd listen to you."

Tatsumi sighed heavily. "Alright, I'll talk to him."

Hisoka flashed him a small grateful smile. "Thank you."

**(Twenty minutes later)**

"Come in." Tatsumi leaned back to see who was knocking on his office door this time. His eyes widened in surprise when Watari popped his head around the door.

"Hey Tatsumi-san!"

"What are you doing here on a Sunday Watari?"

Watari's amber eyes widened in surprise. "It's Sunday?"

"Yes…"

"Oh my god! I gotta go, or I won't have time to watch my soap!"

"Your soap?"

"Yeah! As Our Life Turns in a Pickle Barrel! It's the best show ever!" Watari flew out of the office in a flurry of blonde hair and owl feathers.

Tatsumi shook his head and picked up his pen. Idly he wondered what Watari had wanted in the first place.

**(Fifteen minutes later)**

"Come in." Annoyance coloured Tatsumi's voice.

The office door swung open to admit a short squat bald man with no hair, sporting the hard won red cap and everpresent sign. "Good morning Mr. Tatsumi."

Tatsumi gave THE DIRECTOR a withering glare. "To what do I owe this honour?"

THE DIRECTOR looked at the irritated secretary "I understand that you are sending Mr. Tsuzuki and the boy on assignment tomorrow."

Tatsumi nodded. "Yes, they have a retrieval to deal with in Kyushu."

"Could you please reserve them a room with two bathrooms?"

**(Twenty minutes later, again)**

Tatsumi resisted the urge to pound his head off his desk. "Come in."

Tsuzuki burst into the room. "Tatsumi! You've got to help me, I don't know what to do!"

Tatsumi watched the violet eyed man pace his office, the man was a riot of agitation. "Would this be something about Kurosaki-kun and Joe?"

Tsuzuki threw his arms up in despair. "See! You know too!" And he ran out of the office.

Tatsumi gave into the urge.

**(Half an hour later)**

"Come in." Tatsumi rubbed his sore forehead and glared at the door which swung open and Chief Kanoe strode into the room.

"So you are here, I was wondering…"

"Why?"

"Well, with that mess out in the corridor…"

"What mess?"

"Apparently there was an accident in the lab and, well, no, you'd have to see it to believe it."

Tatsumi sighed, somehow he was pretty sure this had something to do with why Watari had popped his head into his office earlier. Getting to his feet he headed over to Kanoe. "Alright, let's go."

**(Two hours later)**

"Come in." Tatsumi brushed more purple glop off of his suit, and swore silently that he would get his revenge on Watari the very next time he saw him.

A man that Tatsumi didn't recognize hurried into the office and closed the door behind him.

Tatsumi eyed this new arrival. The man had dark brown, almost black hair, and warm brown eyes. He looked pleasant, and worried. "Can I help you?"

"I hope so."

Tatsumi raised an eyebrow.

"There a guy with purple eyes out there who's trying to kill me!"

A smirk touched Tatsumi's lips. "Oh, you must be Joe."

**XXX**

"Would you like to stop for lunch?"

The elegant man glanced at his watch, it was a little past 11:30. "Not just yet, let's watch a little longer first, or we can have something brought in to us again."

THE DIRECTOR nodded and started to feed the next reel of film into the projector.

The elegant man settled himself back into the couch and watched the screen before him brighten, a small smile on his lips.

_The scene opened on a familiar form striding quickly down a nearly empty hallway, the dark coat he wore spread behind him like fluttering wings. Turning into an open door he paced over to a desk that was covered in a mess of papers, take-out boxes, and candy wrappers. Throwing off the coat he tossed it across the desk, scattering papers and debris everywhere. _

_He turned his head and violet eyes regarded the neatly organized desk set a right angle to the messy one._

_Tsuzuki sat on the floor against his desk, suddenly inu chibi and wrapped his paws around his legs. His lower lip trembled and his luminous eyes swam with tears, tail and ears drooping._

"_Soka-chan!"_

"_Tsuzuki?" _

_The scene turned to show Hisoka standing in the doorway looking in at the sobbing inu. "Tsuzuki I…"_

_Inu-Tsuzuki let out a wail and scampered out of the office._

_The camera bounced erratically as it quickly travelled down the hallway after the miserable puppy, but Tsuzuki was out of range. Suddenly the scene stopped moving with a jerk._

"_What the…?" Came a disgusted voice off camera. The scene shifted to show the floor where a purple glunk was oozing out from underneath a closed door and slowly spreading across the hallway._

"_Ewwwww!" _

_The scene went dark abruptly and brightened again to show a tall dark-haired man striding purposely down the corridor._

_The tall man in the dark suit rounded the corner and almost ploughed head first into what looked like a large purple mound of cold dessert gelatine that filled the entire hallway, his reflection wavered in its jiggling surface._

_"Dear gods! It's Jello!"_

_And peering deeper into the blobish mass he could make a figure moving in slow desperation through the gelatinous gunk. It looked like Gushoshin, but it could have been a badly dressed stuffed bear._

_Hisoka stood off to one side the quivering purple blob, gingerly trying to reach in to help the struggling shape inside. He looked towards Tatsumi._

_"Can you help?"_

_Tatsumi nodded and soundlessly move to take the boys' arm so he could lean farther into the dessert-like substance without falling into it. _

_Closer..._

_Almost there..._

_Just as Hisoka snagged the helpless Gushoshin, Tsuzuki tore around the corner and ploughed into Tatsumi, _

_"Hey I heard there was a big dessert here!"_

_Who fell forward into Hisoka..._

_Who, with a startled shriek, fell into the purple jello._

_Tatsumi shoot an evil glare over his shoulder at the clumsy shinigami as carefully and quickly as he could reached into the slowly congealing mass for Hisoka's hand._

_It was at that moment THE DIRECTOR came around the same corner that Tsuzuki had just moments earlier and bumped into Tsuzuki…. _

"_Has anyone seen Mr. Tsuzuki…Oomph!"_

_Who fell into Tatsumi…_

_Who fell face first, into the jello._

_The scene spun crazily as the camera was dropped, and went dark, and seconds later opened on Tsuzuki, who was back in his office collecting his coat from the top of his desk. He turned and took one step towards the door and stopped dead._

_The door was blocked by a purple gloop covered blonde haired youth who glared at the man with angry emerald eyes. "Tsuzuki! Will you please quit running away from me?"_

"_I'm not running away…"_

_Hisoka sighed in exasperation. "When I get near you and you take off at warp 53 before I get a chance to say more than a few words it's called 'running away', and I've had enough of it!"_

"_You've had enough…"_

"_Right, and I brought in the big guns."_

_Behind Hisoka the two shinigami in charge of the Hokkaido region came into view. Yuma fingered a coil of rope in her hands._

"_We're really sorry about this Tsuzuki." Saya told him looking both guilty and determined at the same time. "But Soka-chan said we could play dress up with him for a whole hour if we can catch you and tie you down for him!"_

"_Right Soka-chan!" Yuma cooed at him._

_Hisoka blanched and nodded._

_Tsuzuki's eyes opened wide as the two girls advanced on him, never had they unnerved him the way they were doing now. Turning he ran down the hall._

"_AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"_

"_Hey Soka!" Saya batted her eyes at him, "He sounds just like you!"_

_The scene darkened once more and lightened approaching a door that was barley cracked open. Moving forward to the crack, the camera showed a fairly good view of two people sitting close together on the floor leaning against each other._

"_You were ready to let them do one of their make-overs on you just to get me to listen to you?" Violet eyes were wide with disbelief._

_The blonde head nodded. "You wouldn't stay still." He started. "And I don't like it when you're mad at me." He finished in a near whisper._

"_Hey," Tsuzuki lifted Hisoka's chin till their eyes met. "I wasn't really mad at you…" _

_This time it was the green eyes that shone with disbelief. _

"_Okay, maybe a little mad, but I was more afraid than anything." He wrapped his arms around the smaller body. "I don't want to loose you 'Soka."_

_Hisoka returned the embrace and held on tight. "You won't. I'm sorry you thought you had anything to worry about, you don't you know."_

"_I know, it's just when I saw him holding you like that…"_

"_It wasn't really a compromising position, I mean, he dropped me on my…" Hisoka glanced over his shoulder at the offended area._

_Tsuzuki smirked. "Would you like me to beat him up for you?"_

_Hisoka snorted. "Hardly. Joe's a friend, just a friend. That's it."_

_Tsuzuki's smirk turned into a small frown. "Can't you just stay away from him?"_

"_No." Hisoka smiled a bit and moved so that he was startling his partners' legs, facing him. "If he wants to talk to me, I'll talk. If he asks me to go out for lunch and I decide to go, I'll go. But if it makes you feel better, you can come too. None of that is important. The important part is that you know I love you, got that?"_

"_Got it." Tsuzuki said as he pulled the younger man down for a kiss…_

_Suddenly the scene (and door) swung open wide. _

"_Oh crap! I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, um, I'd better go…"_

_Hisoka fell back somewhat dazed _(A/N well, how would you feel if Tsuzuki kissed you?)_ as Tsuzuki surged to his feet._

"_I pray to the twelve gods that protect me…"_


	16. Chapter 16

Intermission 2

Hisoka: Why are we here again?

Tsu: Cause Jenna's hiding in the corner and won't come out. (Points to a bundle of blankets rocking back and forth under a table in the corner)

Hisoka: And that has what to do with us exactly?

Watari: Well, until she writes the next chapter, we're kinda stuck in this limbo.

Hisoka: You've got a problem with limbo? This is the closest thing we've had to a vacation in years!

Tsu: Needs chocolate.

Hisoka: (Scowling at Tsu) I'm sure you can survive without chocolate for a little while.

Tsu: (Inu) But I don't wannnnnnnnna!

Watari: Jenna's got some chocolate pocky on her desk, why don't you go raid that?

Jenna: (Peeking out from under the blankets) My pocky!

Watari: (Leaping for the blanket) Jenna!

Jenna: (ducking back under cover) Eeep!

Hisoka: (looking under the table) Why are you under there?

Jenna: (Muffled) 'Cause my muse of good ideas went away, then the muse of mediocre ideas followed, now I gotta hide from the muse of utter crap that's been stalking me.

Tsu: (Mouth full of pocky) Muse of utter crap? I didn't know there was one!

Jenna: There is.

Hisoka: Prove it.

Jenna: Look behind my computer.

Hisoka: (Looking) I don't see… Ack! (Sees the muse of utter crap, looking a lot like THE DIRECTOR in a pink tu-tu.) You have gotta be kidding me!

Jenna: I've been trying really hard to avoid him.

Watari: I can see why! But what about the story?

Jenna: It's coming, it really is… I should have the next chapter done this weekend.

Watari: It better be (Waggling eyebrows) or we'll sic Tatsumi on you…


	17. Chapter 17

Scene** 15**

The early morning sunlight poured in through the uncurtined window, warming the two figures that lay together in their bed.

The dark head resting against a pillow, hair falling messily not helped but the fingers that were idly running though it.

Hisoka sat propped up against his pillows watching his partner sleep, feeling the soft dark strands curl around his fingers and sighed. He had attempted to wake Tsuzuki up nicely, but the man slept through his gentle touch.

With a very evil grin, Hisoka heaved the older man over the edge of the bed. Crawling across the bed he peeked over the side.

"Zzzzzzzzzzz" Tsuzuki snored alertly from his landing place on the floor.

Hisoka whapped him with a pillow. "C'mon Tsuzuki! We have an assignment today! Get up!"

"Zzzzzzzzzzz"

Hisoka yanked the blankets away from him, causing the long limbs to splay everywhere "Wake up!"

"Zzzzzzzzzzz"

Hisoka shook, pinched, prodded and poked the older man. "WAKE UP!"

"Zzzzzzzzzzz"

Hisoka left the room in a huff and returned just a few moments later carrying a bucket full of not quite warm water. He allowed one drop to fall onto the middle of Tsuzuki's forehead and whispered sweetly, "Oh, Asato!"

"I'm up! I'm up!"

Hisoka proceeded to empty the bucket.

**(Later, in the hallways of Enma-Cho)**

"Hey Tsuzuki, come look at this!"

Tsuzuki turned, pausing in his way down the corridor to see Watari sticking his head out of the lab. "Shhhhhhh! You're going to get me in trouble 'Tari, Tatsumi said if he hears anything from me for the next week, I won't get a pay check for the next ten years!"

Watari grinned. "That's what happens when you summon your shiki into Enma-cho, you would have thought you would have learned after the last time…"

Watari's grin widened as Tsuzuki scowled at him. "Besides, you're not the only one in the dog house." The normally genki scientists grin faded. "Tatsumi-SAN confiscated all my chemicals, apparently he has something against purple jelly, so I'm not allowed to make any more potions."

Tsuzuki made a sympathetic sound at his friends' plight. "Not even your gender change potion?"

"Not even that." Watari sighed deeply. "But I perfected that one already, remember? The guy who drank it won second place in the Miss Tokyo pageant!" The grin returned to his face. "And I found something new to occupy my time with! Now come see!" With that Watari grabbed a handful of Tsuzuki's coat and dragged him into the lab.

"Wait! Watari!"

Watari shut the door of the lab behind them and dragged Tsuzuki over to a large black box with many knobs, dials and buttons sticking out of it. The assorted lights blinking it made Tsuzuki nervous.

"Voila!" Watari held out a hand to his masterpiece.

"Okay, um, what does it do?"

"It's a voice modifier."

"And what's this?" Tsuzuki asked, tapping the side of a small glass aquarium beside it.

"That's a snail. His name is Gandalf."

"Gandalf the snail?"

"Tsuzuki!" Watari whined. "Forget the snail, pay attention to my invention!"

"Okay, okay…" Tsuzuki turned back to the flashing lights, dials and knobs. "How does it work?"

Watari started flipping switches seemingly at random. "It's really easy." He stated, turning forty-two knobs 126 degrees clockwise while simultaneously turning another twelve dials counter clockwise 'til the vertricies lined up with the discombobulator lever, he then aligned the geometric ratios with the theocentric regulator and pressed the start button.

Nothing happened.

Tsuzuki looked at him.

Watari sighed and kicked the machine.

There was a loud beep and the machine whirred to life and on a hereforeto unnoticed monitor the word READY appeared, blinking in time with all the flashing lights.

Watari picked up a microphone and held it to his lips. "You just talk into this…"

Tsuzuki jumped. The voice wasn't Watari's, in fact it sounded like a young woman's, high pitched and airy.

"Hey! That's neat! Can I try it?" Tsuzuki started bouncing at the prospect.

"Sure!" Watari handed the microphone over to the excited man. "Knock yourself out!"

Tsuzuki took a deep breath and hesitated. "What should I talk about?" He said into the microphone, his voice coming out deep and low. "Hey! How come you sounded like a girl and I sound like a bass singer?"

Watari shrugged "I haven't worked all the kinks out of it yet, this is just a prototype after all, and I guess it will give every voice a different new voice. Keep talking." Watari turned his attention to the machine, flipping switches, adjusting dials.

"About what?" Tsuzuki asked, still talking into the mic.

"Dunno." Watari said distractedly "Tell me what you did last night." He glanced over his shoulder in time to see Tsuzuki's blush. "Oooh! I see! Details, tell me details!"

"Watari! I can't tell you that!"

"I wanna know what bon did that can make you blush like that!" Watari said as he noticed a little switch on the side of his machine. "Can't remember what this one's supposed to do…" He muttered under his breath, flicking the switch up.

"You really are trying to get me in trouble aren't you? You know that Hisoka would kill me if I told you what we do in bed together!"

Watari flashed him a grin, still fiddling with the switch. "Spoilsport!"

"Besides," Tsuzuki grinned back cheekily. "I wouldn't want you to pass out from blood loss trying to imagine it!"

"I wouldn't!" Watari was fighting to regain his more serious demeanour, without success.

"You would too!" Tsuzuki accused.

"Would not!"

"Would too!"

"Would not!"

"Would too! Sometimes we…"

The door burst open effectively cutting off what Tsuzuki had been about to say and both he and Watari turned to see a rather flustered looking Tatsumi standing in the doorway.

"Are the two of you aware that you are broadcasting to the entirety of Ju-On-Cho?"

Tsuzuki and Watari exchanged two and a half wide eyed glances before Watari spoke. "I guess that's what **that **switch does…"

**XXX**

"_Go away!" The petit, rather irate looking blonde scowled at the camera. _

"_We're trying to find Mr. Tsuzuki." Came a voice from off camera, "We figured if we followed you, we'd eventually find him."_

_Hisoka's scowl became darker. "Forget it. Tsuzuki's gone into hiding to avoid Tatsumi." He turned and ignored the camera that followed him down the hallway into the break room. _

_Nodding to Wakaba, Terazuma, and the Gushoshin brothers he headed over to the counter and poured himself a cup of coffee._

_Terazuma sniggered into his own coffee. "Tatsumi's really mad at your idiotic excuse for a partner this time isn't he?"_

_Hisoka ignored the possessed shinigami until he had taken his seat at the table. "About as happy as he was with you for making that big hole in the ceiling of the hallway outside the lab."_

"_He's cutting our budget again!" The hatless Gushoshin cried out. _

"_Tatsumi's doing the best he can." Wakaba interjected._

_Hisoka nodded. "Can you imagine what the over-head for this place must be with a few certain someones constantly trying to destroy it?" He sent a small glare in Terazuma's direction. "After all, Tsuzuki doesn't do all…"_

"…_**really are trying to get…Hisoka…in bed together…pass out from blood loss…imagine it…"**_

_The scene move to show the looks of shock on those assembled, mouths and beaks hung agape._

"_Well…" Terazuma drawled, earning him a glare from his partner._

"_**Would too!"**_

_The camera moved in for a close up of the now very red blonde._

"_**Would too!"**_

_Hisoka got to his feet and looked up, green eyes blazing._

"…_**too, sometimes we…"**_

"_I think I may do a little damage myself" Hisoka said in a slightly strained voice. "If you'll excuse me…" He turned and hurried out of the room._

_The camera skimmed over Wakaba, Terazuma and the two Gushoshin before hurrying after the enraged youth._

_The scene bounced as it followed the blonde quickly down the hallway, occasionally dodging the dark clouds of doom that he left in his wake._

_Hisoka stopped at a familiar door and through it open. "Tsu…T…T Tatsumi?" The rage that had been hovering over him dissipated instantly leaving only stunned confusion. The camera hurried to show the interior of Watari's lab, and standing there in front of an odd blinking machine, holding a microphone was none other that the esteemed secretary of Enma-cho, Tatsumi Seiichiro._

_Hisoka stood wide-eyed at the man who stood frozen, looking back with equal shock._

"_Kurosaki-kun, I can explain…"_

_Hisoka stumbled back a step and shook his head. "Um, no, I, no, I think I'm better off not knowing." With that he turned and hurried away._

_The scene moved more fully into the room and focused on Tatsumi, who gapped at the now empty doorway for several minutes before he turned and bent over to address someone hidden by the table and collection of blinking lights._

"_I should have let him get the two of you!"_

_The scene circled the table to show Watari and Tsuzuki cowering in each others arms. "But Tatsumi…" they whined in unison._

"_You." Tatsumi pointed at Tsuzuki. "Will be in my office in twenty minutes, with your partner, and you WILL NOT be late. As for you…" Tatsumi's accusing finger moved towards Watari. "This little toy of yours will be joining your chemical collection in my office. One more infraction and I will have your cable cut!"_

_Watari's watery eyes widened to an inhuman degree. "But that means…"_

"_No more soap operas!" Tatsumi confirmed._

"_NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"_

_Abruptly the scene changed to show the inside of a new room. Tatsumi sat behind a large paper covered desk, his attention focused on the pair that stood in front of him._

"_You have a case."_

_Tsuzuki and Hisoka both nodded solemnly._

_Behind them, so did THE DIRECTOR._

_And the six camera men, the five light and sound technicians, four wardrobe and makeup consultants, forty-seven roadies, twenty-three groupies, two strippers, thirteen fan girls and a cheerleader with pompoms._

_It was just a little crowded in Tatsumi's office._

_Tatsumi kept his attention focused on the shinigami in front of him and tried to ignore the rest of the indefinable and unmanageable mob._

"_It's just retrieval." Tatsumi said, passing a thin file to Tsuzuki, who passed it to Hisoka, who with a slightly annoyed look at his partner began to read it. "It shouldn't be too much trouble."_

_Tsuzuki and Hisoka turned to leave the office pushing their way through the crowd._

"_Oh, and Tsuzuki?"_

_The violet eyed man turned back._

_Tatsumi allowed a small, evil smirk to raise the corners of his mouth as horns sprouted from the top of his head. For the smallest fraction of a second, blue eyes appeared to glow red. "I'll be waiting for you when you get back!"_

_Tsuzuki whimpered and hurried after his partner. The scene faded._

The elegant man blinked and turned to the short squat bald man with no hair seated beside him. "Those were fairly impressive special effects!"

THE DIRECTOR blinked at him. "We didn't use any special effects!"

_The scene brightened showing the late afternoon sunlight falling on the couple walking together, talking too lowly for the camera to pick up. After a few minutes of rather intense looking conversation, Hisoka turned back towards the camera. _

"_You guys are not staying in our hotel room tonight."_

"_Of course we are!" Came a high squeaky voice from off camera. "It's our duty to capture every nuance of shinigami life for the purpose of the film."_

_Hisoka snorted. "I'm pretty sure that any new recruits would already know how to sleep."_

"_We're here." Tsuzuki announced in a dread filled voice, drawing the attention of his partner and the unseen owner of the squeaky voice._

_Hisoka rolled his eyes and sighed. _

"_We're where?" The squeaky voice asked._

_Hisoka turned back towards the camera. "Okay, I need to rephrase myself. You guy's are not staying in our TENT tonight."_

_The scene panned to the left to show a canvas tent set up in an empty lot between two houses._

_Tsuzuki approached the tent and nudged it with his foot. "I suppose we should be happy he didn't direct us to a hole in the ground."_

There was a flapping sound as the reel of film came to an end and began to spin freely. THE DIRECTOR jumped up and hurried to turn off the projector. The elegant man stood and stretched his arms up above his head.

"Should we call it a night?" THE DIRECTOR asked as he threaded the reel back through the projector and began rewinding it.

The elegant man nodded. "It's been a long day. Tomorrow then?"

THE DIRECTOR nodded in return and pulled the film off the projector.

The elegant man gave THE DIRECTOR a smile of farewell as the butler led him out of the room. As the door closed the elegant man went to a display cabinet and took out a framed photograph.

There were two people in the picture, a blonde and a brunette. The brunettes arm was draped across the shoulders of the blonde as he smiled hugely at the camera. The blonde in the picture was scowling slightly, but the elegant man could see amusement in the expression and in the emerald green eyes.

He smiled at the photograph and brushed his hand over it almost reverently before he put it away. It was one of his most treasured possessions.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I suppose that I'd better stick this in somewhere…

I own nothing, I do not own Yami, I do not own LTOR and I do not own Gandalf.

I most certainly do not own Gandalf the snail, Li-chan does.

He lived in an aquarium with her four minnows, Frodo, Merry, Pippin and Sam. (They were all named by pure coincidence.)

Gandalf ate them.


	18. Chapter 18

I'm back!

This chapter is not as fun as some of the others, something resembling a plot seems to have sprung into existence, for at least the next two chapters. I apologize profusely for it, and I will get rid of it as soon as possible!

**Scene 16**

The early morning sun shone down on the tent in the urban jungle. Around a slightly sagging tent, covered by newspapers, jackets and odd bits of Kleenex, the unwanted and ever-present camera crew snored, snorted, twitched and generally slept on as two figures stealthily made their way out of the tent.

Carefully the two tip-toed towards the road until the taller figure tripped on a tripod (A/N - there's a tongue twister in there somewhere!) and uttered a sharp curse.

The smaller figure whipped around hissing quietly. "Baka yarou! If you wake them up I'll feed you to them!"

The taller whimpered slightly at the threat, but managed to regain his feet with minimal noise and they resumed their silent trek to freedom.

The unaware and unknowing camera crew slept on.

**(A few hours and two breakfasts later)**

Hisoka walked along the sidewalk holding the open file in front of him, looking for the name of the person they were looking for. He frowned when he couldn't find one, just a gender and a location. .

Tsuzuki looked up at a fairly nice, friendly looking building. "Is this it?"

Hisoka looked up as well. "This is it."

"What is it?"

Hisoka sighed. "Did you even look at the file?" He asked in exasperation.

Tsuzuki ducked his head. "Um, not really."

"How about the big sign right there, in front of the building?"

Tsuzuki looked over at the big sign. It read Tojenko rest home. "Oh."

"Oh he says!" Hisoka started up towards the building leaving his befuddled partner to catch up. The man they were looking for could be any of the residents, it was beginning to look like it would be a long day. He went through the doors and walked over to the front desk where a young nurse was waiting.

"Hi, I'm here to see my grandfather…" Hisoka began

"Sonny boy!" An elderly voice cried out.

Hisoka jumped in surprise and whirled around. "Who…"

A group of smiling elderly people were gathering behind him.

"Isn't that Hiroshi's grandson?" Asked a little old lady with curly white hair.

"No that's my Nanuki's boy." Replied another lady in a wheelchair.

"No, no, no, that's my sonny boy!" Countered a thin man leaning heavily on a cane. A chorus of voices erupted from the growing group of senior citizens.

Hisoka's eyes widened as he realized that the group was not so slowly closing in on him, he ducked the first hands reaching out to pinch his cheeks. 'Oh god, their older that Tsuzuki!' he thought as the wrinkled mob continued to reach for him, swamping him with feeling of loneliness, hope, and a sudden desire for prunes and bingo.

"You might want to rescue the poor thing." Hisoka heard an authoritative voice say from somewhere outside the circle of grasping seniors.

"Of course, grandfather." A familiar voice responded. "Excuse me!"

A hand fastened itself around his wrist and Hisoka found himself being forcefully drawn away from the elderly group. His senses dulled under a dark assault as he was pulled along until he was abruptly released. His vision cleared and he found himself in a small private room facing a very old man with wispy white hair and very wrinkled features that somehow seemed familiar.

"Fancy meeting you here bouya."

Hisoka whirled at that familiar voice. "Muraki!" For a moment he felt a fission of fear, then decided the man was still preferable to the film crew.

Muraki slinked closer. "And where's your dear partner?"

Hisoka shrugged. "Beats me!"

**(At that exact moment)**

Tsuzuki glance over his shoulder at the door of the nursing home, Hisoka was going to kill him, again! But he really couldn't help it. He turned back to the ice cream truck that had come around the corner just as Hisoka had entered the building. "…and a banana split, two caramel chews, a double chocolate cone…"

**(Back inside)**

"…and you're going to help me bouya."

"What makes you think that I would do anything to help you?"

"You won't have a choice." Muraki reached out and touched Hisoka's forehead.

Nothing happened.

There was a snort from the occupant of the wheelchair and Muraki glared, then whacked Hisoka's forehead with the heel of his hand. There was a brief flair of white light and Hisoka's green eyes went vacant.

Muraki smiled with satisfaction. "You are mine to command."

"I am yours to command." Hisoka spoke in a monotone.

"Meow like a cat."

"Quack!"

"Close enough."

"What do you mean close enough?" The old man in the wheelchair asked. "You got an entirely different species!"

Muraki sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose in a very Tatsumi-esque fashion. "If I may point out grandfather, that this was your idea and I have had next to no time to prepare. I am essentially winging this…"

"Hence the quack!" Muraki sr. burst out.

"…and I'm afraid there is no time to fine tune all of the bugs out of the spell."

"Or maybe he's commenting on your skills as a doctor."

"Perhaps if you had given me a little notice that you were supposed to have died and the shinigami were coming for you, I could have put together something better…"

"I forgot."

"Forgot what?"

"To die. First a guy from the government came and wanted to know what I remembered about my research, then Thursday was creamed spinach night and the nurse lost my medication." Elderly shoulders shrugged. "I just forgot. Doesn't matter, I wasn't ready yet anyway."

Muraki sighed in exasperation.

**(Back outside)**

"… fudge sundae with lot of nuts, a scoop of the cookie dough ice cream, some of those strawberry wafers…"

**(Back inside)**

"…and when you hear my voice you will do what I tell you."

"I will do what you tell me."

"You will forget that you saw me here."

"I will forget…"

"Your case here is finished, it is time for you to go now."

"Time to go…"

"That's a good boy." Muraki smiled evilly as he gave Hisoka a gentle push out of the room. "Now, fetch!"

**XXX**

_The scene opened up following a short squat bald man with no hair who was waddling quickly down the street, the odd red cap on his head bounced precariously with each step. A white truck decorated with pictures of frozen treats pulled away to reveal a tall dark-haired man in a long trench coat. The short squat bald man with no hair immediately altered his course and made a bee line towards the man._

"_Mr. Tsuzuki! Mr. Tsuzuki! We found you!"_

_Tsuzuki looked up from the small vanilla cone he was holding._

"_Um, what's that?"_

"_It's all I could afford." Tsuzuki said mournfully._

"_Lovely." THE DIRECTOR waved his hand dismissively. "Come along Mr. Tsuzuki, we have a lot to get done today."_

_Tsuzuki took a step back. "I can't! I've got to go and help Hisoka…" He turned in time to see Hisoka come out of the front doors of the building and make his way over to where they were standing._

"_What are you doing here?" Hisoka asked glaring at THE DIRECTOR._

"_I" said THE DIRECTOR, pulling himself up to his full three feet eight inches, "Have a film to make."_

_Hisoka continued to glare, unimpressed. "Good for you." He turned to Tsuzuki. "C'mon, you need to come inside."_

"_Why?" Tsuzuki asked, looking worried. "Is there something wrong with the case?"_

_Hisoka went still "The case here is finished, it's time to go." _

"_Soka?"_

_Hisoka blinked. "What?"_

"_Are you okay?" Tsuzuki reached out to brush a few strands of hair off his forehead._

_Hisoka scowled. "Yeah, fine. Why?"_

"_Dunno, you just sounded, odd there for a minute."_

_Hisoka shrugged. "I must be tired."_

"_So the case is finished?" Tsuzuki asked. "Great! So we can go!"_

_Hisoka blinked again. "I suppose we can." He shook his head as if trying to clear it. "C'mon, let's go back and get our reports done so we can go home."_

"_Can we get some lunch first?" Tsuzuki asked, bouncing in place._

"_No."_

"_As interesting as this all is, the film is waiting." THE DIRECTOR interrupted, pulling on Tsuzuki sleeve._

"_But lunch!…" Tsuzuki began._

"_NO!" THE DIRECTOR and Hisoka looked at each other and scowled._

_The scene dimmed, then brightened to show the interior of a small office where Tsuzuki and Hisoka were bent over their respective desks filling out paperwork. Hisoka wrote steadily, while Tsuzuki looked up every few minutes to see if Hisoka was looking and when he assured himself that his partner was not, the dark-haired man would shoot an elastic across the room. His target seemed to be the clock above the door._

_As Tsuzuki was stretching out his twenty-third elastic, Hisoka looked up and tilted his head. Tsuzuki let go of the elastic which snapped back and hit him in the forehead._

"_Owwwwwwwwww!"_

_Hisoka waved for him to be quiet. "Did you hear something?"_

"_No." Tsuzuki sulked, rubbing the stinging spot on his forehead._

"_Are you sure?" Hisoka asked, "I thought I heard someone talking…"_

_Tsuzuki looked over at his partner in mild concern. "Are you alright?"_

_Hisoka nodded. "Sure. We should go to Chijou for lunch. We can get some purple die."_

"_What for?"_

"_Why to eat of course!"_

"_Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight." Tsuzuki got up and headed for the door. "Um, I gotta go down to the lab for a bit, there's something that I needed to talk to Watari about. You okay here for a bit?"_

_Hisoka nodded dreamily, his head still tilted listening to something only he could hear._

_The scene bounced slightly as it quickly followed Tsuzuki down the hallway, around a few corners, through a quick stop at the break room to discover all the chocolate donuts were gone and down to the lab._

_Tsuzuki knocked on the door and pushed it open and ducked as there was a muffled 'boom'. Something went whizzing out the doorway at high speed, and the camera turned to show six pencils, a ruler, two pairs of glasses and a rather irate secretary embedded in the wall across from the lab._

_The camera turned back in time to show Tsuzuki straightening, and Watari rushing out of the lab looking somewhat singed, but otherwise in high spirits._

"_Wow! That was a good one! Are you okay Tatsumi?"_

_The shadow master gave Watari a glare that caused the temperature in hallway to drop 45 degrees in 2.85655475869574538596 seconds flat. "And just how did you manage to make an explosion with all of your chemicals locked in my office?" He asked icily._

_Watari, apparently unperturbed by the cold (aided, possibly by the four sweaters he wore under his lab coat), grinned. "Just lucky I guess." He turned to the now shivering observer. "Hey Tsuzuki! What brings you down here?"_

"_I wanted to talk to you about Hisoka."_

"_Eh? Bon? Is something wrong? Come inside and tell me what's bothering you." Watari turned and waved a cheerful farewell at the still glaring secretary. "I'll come down to your office in a little bit and you can lecture me then, okay?"_

_Tatsumi nodded and turned to pry one of the pairs of glasses out of the wall. With a last meaningful glare at the blonde scientist, he made his way down the hallway._

_The scene followed Tsuzuki, who followed Watari back into his lab. _

"_Have a seat." Watari gestures to a semi intact chair next to an empty aquarium. _

_Tsuzuki sat and waited as Watari set some of his lab back into order, put out a few fires and began to make tea. He peered into the aquarium. "Hey Watari, didn't you have a snail in here?"_

_Watari hurried over and looked into the aquarium. He found a place at the top of the aquarium where the wire mesh covering had been bent and pried open. "Aw, damn, he escaped!"_

"_The snail?"_

"_Aa, help me find him!"_

"_The snail?"_

"_Look for slime!"_

_Both Watari and Tsuzuki began to scour the floor around the aquarium looking for trials of slime. _

"_So what was it you wanted to ask me?" Watari asked distractedly._

"_Oh, yeah." Tsuzuki looked up. "Hisoka's acting a little strange, I was wondering if you could look at him."_

"_Strange? How?"_

"_He wanted to go get some purple die for lunch…"_

"_Un huh…" Watari peered into a corner. "There he is! Oh, wait, it's just some lint!"_

"_And he seems to be hearing things."_

"_Hearing things?" Watari looked up to see Tsuzuki nod. "Okay, let me find Gandalf the snail and I'll take a look at bon."_

"_Sank-you Watari!" Tsuzuki glomped the scientist little poofs of relief floating into the air._

_Suddenly the scene quavered._

"_What the..?" came the voice from behind the camera._

_The scene jounced and spun wildly._

"_There he is!" Cried Watari._

_**TBC**_

Okay, I realize that Muraki's grandfather was Tsuzuki's doctor before he committed suicide in 1926, and Since I highly doubt that someone fresh out of medical school would be running their own hospital and running top secret experiments for the military, Muraki Yukitaka must have been at least in his mid-thirties then. So here's my explanation for him appearing in my fic.

Muraki's grandfather is really, really old.


	19. Chapter 19

Hey! I'm back, and for the first time in a while I managed to write a chapter that had me giggling while I wrote it!

Of course, that could be because I've gone the last three days without sleep and just finished my 37th cup of coffee. Right about now I'd probably find the phone book amusing…

Phone book… (hehehehehehe)

Um, right. Never mind then, let's just get to the story…

**Scene 17**

"Well Kazutaka, is your little toy going to bring my patient back to me or not?"

Muraki hid his scowl from his grandfather as he turned to face the really, really, really old man. "I'm afraid you will have to have patience grandfather, the spell is not working as well as I'd hoped, being as rushed as it was."

"Patience?" Muraki sr. bit out, not bothering to hide his scowl. "Exactly how long do you think I plan to live?"

"Long enough to try my patience, that's for damned sure!" Muraki muttered under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Look." Muraki got up from his seat, stretching out his long limbs and began pacing the small room. "I tried to exert direct control over the bouya, to get him to bring Tsuzuki-san back to Chijou for lunch and apple pie, but with the bugs in the spell and the distance, it didn't come out that way. It's best to leave the bouya to his own devices for a bit, if he behaves too strangely, the other shinigami will notice and that will be the end of the game."

"Look you young pup." Muraki sr. ground out, scowl still firmly in place. "I didn't genetically engineer you for caution, so let's get a move on! Chop! Chop!"

Muraki scowled back. "You didn't genetically engineer me at all you old fart, now behave or I'll 'chop chop' you!"

"I did so!"

"You did not!"

"I did so!"

"You did not!"

"I did so!"

"You did not!"

"I did so!"

"You did not!"

"Well, maybe just a little bit."

"Fine! But I'll have to try this a different way." Muraki hissed and drew a hand through his hair in exasperation.

"I don't care how you do it!"

"Rather than trying to direct his actions, I'll send him an impulse… Two actually, first to get the scientist and that secretary out of the way, then to bring Tsuzuki back to Chijou. Once they're here, I should be able to exert a finer control over the bouya."

"Right." Muraki sr. agreed. "You've had phenomenal success so far. If you tell the kid to bring the man here, they'll probably end up in Europe!"

Muraki glared at the old man. "You did not genetically engineer me!"

**(Later, back in Meifu)**

Hisoka walked down the hallway, keeping an eye out for his absent partner. The man hadn't returned after leaving to speak to Watari. Hisoka was headed towards the break room, operating under the theory that where there was food there was a good chance of finding the violet eyed man.

He gave his head a little shake, he still felt a little foggy. A good night's sleep would probably cure that, in the meantime there was something really important that he needed to do, he just couldn't remember what it was.

Hisoka's steps slowed as he began to run though a mental list of what he could be forgetting. Lock the apartment? Nope, spent the night in a tent. Bills were paid, paperwork finished, groceries bought, Tsuzuki fed, dished washed, plants watered, Joe moved into the witness protection program, newspapers recycled… What was it he was supposed to do?

"Bon!"

Hisoka looked up to see Watari rushing towards him, lab coat flaring. The taller man skittered to a stop in front of him.

"Have you seen anything… strange?"

"Um, yeah." Hisoka said, feeling just a little surprised, he had meant to say no, hadn't he? "In there." Hisoka pointed at a small supply room.

"Great!" Watari opened the door and stepped inside, looking around warily.

Hisoka pushed the door shut and locked it with a sense of accomplishment. But something was still missing. Turning, Hisoka continued down the hallway, once again lost in his thoughts. What was it he was supposed to do?

**(Twenty minutes later)**

Tatsumi walked down the hallway towards the break room, thoughts of a hot cup of tea luring him from his piles of paperwork. As he passed the supply room he heard a muffled banging.

"Let me out!"

Tatsumi leaned close to the door. "Watari? Is that you?"

"Yes! Tatsumi? Let me out? Please? I'll be good!"

Tatsumi snorted. "Somehow I doubt that." He turned the knob and was a little surprised to find that it had been locked from the outside.

"I can't even teleport out!"

"Of course not." Tatsumi told him, unlocking the door. "All the supply rooms are warded to make sure that everyone goes through proper channels, rather than just popping in and helping themselves." He opened the door, but before Watari could step out, there was a hard shove against Tatsumi's back that send him falling onto the blonde man and the door closed behind him. With a click, the lock was reengaged. "What?"

Watari looked up at Tatsumi from his landing place on the floor. "You know, this is just a hunch, but I think there might be something wrong with bon."

**XXX**

THE DIRECTOR yawned and stretched, the elegant man smirked.

"Not used to getting an early start?"

THE DIRECTOR shook his head "Not really, but you want to see all the footage before you leave right?"

The elegant man nodded.

"Well then, let's get to it." THE DIRECTOR reached out and flipped the switch on the projector.

_Tsuzuki sat curled up in a corner of the lab, his arms wrapped tightly around his knees, rocking back and forth, teeth chattering and violet eyes wide as his gaze scanned the room repeatedly. In one hand he clenched the handle of a nine iron tightly._

_Suddenly Tsuzuki jumped up into a crouch and in a flurry of movement began to swing the nine iron savagely against the floor._

"_Tsuzuki?" Came a dry voice from off screen. "Why are you beating a piece of lint to death?" _

_The nine iron halted mid-swing and Tsuzuki looked up. "'Soka? S'that you?"_

"_What are you doing in here Tsuzuki?" Hisoka's voice asked._

"_Quick! Get over here before he comes back!"_

"_He who?"_

"_Gandalf the snail!" Tsuzuki whimpered._

"_A snail? You're in here cowering because of a snail?" Hisoka walked into the scene heading towards Tsuzuki. Stepping on a trail of slime he slid, arms wind milling to keep his balance._

_Tsuzuki leapt forward and wrapped his arms around his younger partner, almost braining him with the golf club that he refused to relinquish, and dragged him back to the corner, his eyes darting around the lab warily. "You didn't see it 'Soka! Big teeth! It had such big teeth! So fast! I thought snails were supposed to be slow! But it moved like grey lightening! With teeth! And it jumped! It has no legs, how the hell did it jump? And did I mention the teeth?"_

"_Snails don't have teeth"_

"_Look what it did to the camera guy over there!" Tsuzuki pointed towards the camera. The scene shifted minutely and there was a wheeze._

_Hisoka looked directly at the camera. "No way a snail did that."_

"_It did! I saw it! And then it chased Watari down the hall!"_

_Hisoka sighed deeply and pulled himself out of his partners' arms. Grabbing his wrist he yanked the taller man to his feet. "C'mon, let's get out of here, we'll go down to Chijou and you won't have to worry about killer snails."_

_Tsuzuki whimpered as he was pulled out of the corner. "But my coat's in our office and it's not safe to go walking around."_

"_You can keep the golf club if it makes you feel better, but I walked all the way down here and I didn't see anything strange." Hisoka gave him another tug and both men disappeared from the scene._

_The scene slowly shifted to follow in the direction that the partners had headed, but stopped moving as a muffled whimper sounded from off screen, and the camera offered a striking view of a nice white wall._

_More white wall…_

"_There you are!" Exclaimed a high squeaky voice. Abruptly the scene swung around and jounced several times, finally focusing on a short squat bald man with no hair. "Come along, there's a lot to do and we don't have time for you lazy boobs to be loitering around." Without looking back at the camera, THE DIRECTOR strode quickly out of the lab. The scene wobbled precariously for a few moments, then slowly followed._

"That was a little harsh, don't you think?" The elegant man asked turning toward his companion.

"Not really." THE DIRECTOR gestured to the screen. "He wasn't hurt too badly, you should see what those guys look like after a union meeting."

_The scene followed THE DIRECTOR down the hallway until THE DIRECTOR stopped and turned in a circle. "Did you hear that?"_

_The scene shifted as the cameraman shrugged, then there was a muffled thump. The scene moved forward and focused on a closed door. There was another thump, an oef, two more thumps and a giggle._

_THE DIRECTOR looked at the door, quickly unlocked it and threw it open. _

_Tatsumi looked up from the neck that he had been nuzzling. Watari blinked groggily at the sudden light and began to unwind his arms from around Tatsumi's neck, trying to push away from the wall that he was pinned against._

_THE DIRECTOR stumbled back from the doorway as a shadow rose up and caught the door, pulling it shut again. Another tendril of shadow crept up from under the door and turned the lock, locking the two men inside again._

"_Wait! You could do that the whole time?" Came the indignant protest from behind the door, it was followed by a gasp and more giggles, another thump thrown in for good measure._

"_Weirdos." The red cap flopped precariously as the short squat bald man with no hair spun and headed off down the hall._

_From further down the ahead there was a shout._

"_What the…? Holy crap! It's got teeth!"_

_The scene followed THE DIRECTOR around a corner to find Tsuzuki pressing Hisoka up against a wall, trying to shield him from what appeared to be a very mangled golf club lying on the ground beside a small grey lump._

"_Oh, a bug." THE DIRECTOR took a step and smooshed it below his heel._

_Both Tsuzuki and Hisoka stared at the man wide eyed. Tsuzuki looked down at the splatter on the floor. "Ohhhh, Watari's gonna be pissed!"_

"_Did we hear someone shout?"_

_The scene turned to show Watari and Tatsumi approaching quickly. Watari looked decisively rumpled, even Tatsumi had four hairs out of place._

"_The snail…" Hisoka pointed at the smear on the carpet while trying to push his way out from behind Tsuzuki. _

_Watari noticed the splatter. "No! Gandalf!" He immediately bent to collect the remains, heading off in the direction of his lab…_

"_C'mon Tsuzuki, let's get your coat." Hisoka grabbed Tsuzuki's hand and gave him a tug to get him moving._

"_Wait, please." Tatsumi focused his attention on the youngest Shinigami. "I would like to speak with you first Kurosaki-kun. Would you come to my office?"_

_Hisoka looked mildly indecisive for a moment, then nodded and headed down the hallway. _

"_Is something wrong?" Tsuzuki asked, catching Tatsumi's sleeve as he turned to follow._

"_You told Watari that Kurosaki was acting oddly?" _

_Tsuzuki nodded._

"_Other incidents have led us to agree with you. Don't worry Tsuzuki, we'll get to the bottom of this." Tatsumi turned again and headed down the hallway. Tsuzuki followed._

_The forgotten DIRECTOR waddled quickly behind them. "Wait! What about the film!"_

TBC…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once again, I own nothing, just in case anyone was wondering.

And no snails were injured during the making of this fic.


	20. Chapter 20

Wow, did this ever take a long time!! If it helps, the next chapter is already half finished.

Sadly tho, the next chapter is also the last one, so be prepared for me to really babble on…

As always, I own nothing but the coffee that I drank, the pocky that I ate, a few passable jokes, and many, many thanks.

So enjoy!

**Scene 18**

Gushoshin the hatless clicked through random computer files searching for the name of the soul that Tsuzuki and Hisoka were supposed to be collecting as part of their last assignment. Tatsumi had been mildly irritated when he'd gone through the original file and been unable to find a name, just a location and gender.

Neither partner had been very helpful in naming the 'supposed-to-be-deceased', Tsuzuki finally admitting that he had never gone into the nursing home, and Hisoka claiming he couldn't remember, just that the case was finished and it was time to go home.

Another click and the file records were displayed.

Gushoshin read the name listed and let out a squawk

**(Meanwhile)**

Watari stood in front of Hisoka, Tatsumi and Tsuzuki stood off to the side watching.

"Are you sure this will work?" Tatsumi asked sceptically.

"Of course it will work!" Watari assured the secretary, ignoring Hisoka's snort of disbelief. "We'll hypnotize bon, and get him to remember what happened at the rest home. Then we'll find out why bon's been acting all weird."

"I have not been acting all weird." Hisoka protested.

"Right bon." Watari pulled out something shiny on a string. "I need you to focus…"

"Hey! That's my chocolate coin!"

Tatsumi elbowed Tsuzuki in the ribs and gestured for him to be quiet.

"…on the coin."

Tsuzuki whimpered.

Hisoka glared. "I am not Tsuzuki, you can't hypnotize me with chocolate, no matter how much pretty foil you put on it."

"Just focus." Watari let the coin swing back and forth. "You are getting sleepy…"

Hisoka grimaced. "I am getting nauseous..."

"Very sleepy…"

Tsuzuki fell asleep.

Hisoka looked over his shoulder at Tatsumi. Tatsumi shrugged and Hisoka turned back to Watari with an irritated expression on his face.

"You are getting very sleepy, you want to go to sleep…" Watari had his own eyes closed by this point, and was waving his free hand around. "Sleep…"

Tatsumi shrugged again, stepped behind Hisoka and gave him a sharp rap on the back of the head with a little black hammer. Hisoka slumped over unconscious.

Watari opened up his eyes at the sound and his eyes focused on the unconscious empath. "Hey look! It worked!"

The door of the office burst open and Gushoshin flew inside holding a sheet of paper that he thrust into Tatsumi's hands. "I found it!"

Tatsumi pursued the paper for several moments. "Oh dear."

"What?" Watari asked.

"The soul that they were supposed to collect belonged to one Muraki Yukitaka."

"Who's the President of Albania?" Tsuzuki cried, jerking awake.

**(Twenty minutes later)**

Watari wrung his hands together as they walked into the infirmary. "I don't understand why he won't wake up!"

Tatsumi shrugged innocently as he laid the unconscious empath onto one of the beds. "Maybe he's just very tired."

Tsuzuki stood silent, his eyes fixed on the file in hands, his hands shaking slightly.

"Tsuzuki?" Watari reached out to touch his friends' shoulder.

"I have to… have to… it's my fault, I… I have…"

Tatsumi turned to him in concern. "Tsuzuki-san…"

But Tsuzuki had already disappeared.

**(Twenty minutes later again, on Chijou)**

Tsuzuki stood outside the room that the nice nurse lady had told him belonged to Muraki Yukitaka. He swallowed hard and brought his hand up to knock.

The door swung open before he had a chance.

"M-Muraki!"

"Well hello Tsuzuki-san." Muraki (Jr. that is) said, smiling charmingly.

"What are you doing here?"

"Why I'm visiting my grandfather, what else would I be doing here?" Muraki swept his arm out in a gesture for Tsuzuki to come in. Tsuzuki scowled at him and stepped into the room. An old man with wispy white hair sat in a wheelchair by the bed.

"Hello Tsuzuki-san! I've been waiting for you."

Tsuzuki blinked at the old man. "You have?"

"I have something for you."

"You do?"

Muraki Sr. held out a neatly printed page of paper. Tsuzuki took it and looked at the man questioningly.

"What's this?"

Muraki Sr. smirked. "It's your hospital bill. Eight years of hospitalization, plus 81 years of incurred interest. Pay up."

Tsuzuki looked at the page and goggled at the figure at the bottom. "Would you be willing to take it out in trade?"

"For what?" Muraki Sr. looked sceptical.

"Well, I could get you a shikigami…"

Muraki Jr. raised his eyebrows. "That's not a bad offer, I think you should take it grandfather."

"Nah." Muraki Sr. scoffed. "I wouldn't know what to do with one anyways, I just wanted to give him the bill, that's all." The old man let his eyes drift close and his head slumped forward. "That's all…" He muttered as he slipped peacefully into death.

Muraki regarded his grandfather's passing. "I was wondering how long he would take to do that."

Tsuzuki quickly hid the bill behind his back. "Were you here when Hisoka was?"

The corners of Muraki's mouth twitched. "Why yes I was here when my little doll stopped by."

"What did you do to him?"

"Nothing much, just a little spell so I could pull some strings, he is after all, my puppet."

Tsuzuki faced Muraki, his fists clenched in determination. "Let Hisoka go."

Muraki smiled in victory. "No."

"What do you want?"

The smirk faded and Muraki moved to stand directly in front of Tsuzuki. He raised one pale hand and let it trail down Tsuzuki's cheek, watching the way the shinigami winced at the contact. "You. I want you. I'll release the spell if you'll stay with me."

Tsuzuki closed his eyes in resignation. "Done."

**XXX**

The elegant man set his plate down on a small table beside the plush couch. THE DIRECTOR, taking his cue from his host did likewise.

"Are we ready to continue?"

The elegant man nodded and brushed back his dark hair. "We have a few more hours."

THE DIRECTOR got to his feet and hurried to turn the projector back on.

_The scene opened up on a brightly lit room. It scanned the room before coming to rest on a spill of long blond hair and white lab coat leaning over a bed. The arm of the coat moved as if the owner were tapping someone's cheek. "C'mon bon, wake up!" A slightly agitated voice muttered softly._

_Before the camera could move any closer, the dark imposing figure of the shadow master stepped into the scene. "What do you want?"_

"_Where is Mr. Tsuzuki?" Asked a high squeaky voice from off screen._

"_As you can see, he's not here. He's probably gone to Chijou and we'll thank you not to interfere in the matter."_

"_We don't interfere!" The high squeaky voice proclaimed indignantly, "We just record!"_

_Tatsumi snorted and turned away from the camera as a low moan sounded from the bed._

"_Let's go." The nails on a chalkboard voice demanded and the scene darkened only to brighten again on a well lit street, people wandering to unknown destinations. "There! Over there!" The scene turned to focus on a pair of men stepping out onto the street and immediately moved in closer. One of the men was extremely familiar, the other man was tall and pale with silver hair, and he seemed to be quite flustered._

"_Get Away From Me!"_

"_But Kazu-chan, I'm still hungry!"_

_Muraki eyed the violet eyed man, then the restaurant that they had just left. There was a man in the window hanging an 'out of business' sign. His thoughts turned to his own dwindling fortune. "I can't afford you!"_

"_But Kazu-chaaaaaaaaaaaaan!"_

"_Quit whining at me! I can't take it!"_

_Tsuzuki pounced on the evil doctor and clung to the winter white coat, completely inu-chibi. "Please! Please! Pleeeeeeeeeese!_

_Muraki stared wide eyed at the century old chibi. "Aughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!" He began shaking his coat desperately, trying to dislodge the cling-on._

"_What the Hell?"_

_The scene turned to show Hisoka standing a short distance away with Tatsumi standing right behind him. _

_There was a noise that sounded suspiciously like a sob of relief and Muraki dragged the whining inu-chibi over to the other shinigami. "Get him off me!" He told Hisoka, holding out his coat and the offending chibi. "Take him and keep him away from me!"_

_Hisoka reached out and caught hold of inu-chibi Tsuzuki, who immediately turned and snuggled into his neck. "Baka." Hisoka muttered and whacked Tsuzuki smartly on the head with his fist. Tsuzuki sat on the ground and looked up at him with watery eyes._

"_How do you put up with it?" Muraki asked in disbelief._

"_You haven't spent time with Tsuzuki when he was being himself, have you?" Tatsumi asked smirking._

"_Is he always like that?"_

"_Usually." Hisoka told him._

"_In twenty minutes he put two restaurants out of business, destroyed a high-rise, cost me most of my savings, and he whined the entire time!"_

"_Yup, that's Tsuzuki." Hisoka reached down and scratched behind the inu's ears, gaining a whine of pleasure._

"_Keep him away from me! If I see him again, I'll turn him into shish-ka-bob!" Muraki turned and began to stalk angrily away._

"_Oh Muraki…" Hisoka called after him sweetly. _

_Muraki slowed and turned his head slightly._

"_If we come across any more cases that involve you, especially if you've been killing people again, we'll send him to you for a week." Hisoka grinned evilly. "And we'll feed him chocolate first!"_

"_Well, who would have suspected." Tatsumi commented mildly, adjusting his glassed and watching Muraki hurry away._

_Both Hisoka and a now normal Tsuzuki looked at him questioningly._

"_Suspected what?" Tsuzuki asked._

_Tatsumi smirked. "That evil can be defeated by irritation."_

_All three shinigami slowly turned towards the camera with a new light in their eyes and rather evil little smiles on their faces._

_There were several audible gulps from off screen._

"_I think that's about it for today, call it a wrap boys!" For once the high squeaky voice sounded a little nervous. There was a flurry of motion to the sides of the scene as most of the unalleviated and undignified film crew ran for it. There was only a moment of hesitation before the scene started to bounce wildly as the camera man joined the flight. Several times the scene flashed up to the sky passing a bobbing red cap as THE DIRECTOR ran along side._


	21. Chapter 21

When I first began this fic from the idea that my Li-chan shared with me (sry Li-chan!) I never expected it to evolve into the long, long bunch of insanity that it has become.

If I had, I would have immediately checked myself into the nearest asylum to save the world from my caffeine fuelled sense of humour.

**Scene 22: The last scene!**

Watari fidgeted as he waited under the sakura trees in front of the Ju-on-cho building. All the shinigami had been asked to gather there, but he was a little early.

He wasn't the only one.

Carefully Watari turned his head, and then just as quickly ducked it down again. Yup, the shadow master was still staring at him with that piercingly direct gaze. Watari shifted and peeked again. _Tatsumi, you are way too intense! _

Across the lawn Tatsumi watched the blonde scientist play with his hair, peek at him, twiddle his fingers, peek at him, pet 003, peek at him, pull something out of his pocket, peek at him, put the something away again, peek at him, so on and so forth.

Tatsumi adjusted his glasses to cover a smirk. He wondered if the blonde would gather the courage to look at him before the end of the day, or perhaps dragging him back into a dark closet would help him get over this little bout of shyness…

"Tatsuuuuuumi!"

The cry pulled him back from what had promised to be a very pleasant day-dream and the secretary turned to face the approaching menace.

"Did you want something Tsuzuki?"

Only the ice in the shadow master's tone stopped Tsuzuki from glomping him, and he settled for bouncing in place before the slightly irritated man.

"You can't bring me down today Tatsumi! It's all over! No more cameras following me around, no more lights, no more film!"

Tatsumi felt his lips twitch in spite of himself. "So, where's your partner?"

Tsuzuki's exuberance died down a little. "He locked himself in our office. He says he's not coming out 'til they're gone."

Tatsumi sighed. "Fine, let's go get Watari…"

**(Half an hour and one blackmail scheme later…)**

THE DIRECOR looked at group of assembled shinigami and other employees of the Ju On Cho and cleared his throat. "Well ladies and gentlemen, this had been quite an experience, but I'm sorry to say that we have all the footage we need to put together our training film, so we will be leaving you today."

Thrown a little by the sudden massive cheering that his farewell seemed to generate, THE DIRECTOR shrugged and continued. "This had been a pleasant experience for all involved, I'm sure…"

There was a flurry of movement in the audience as one of the shinigami moved to attack, only to be restrained by two others.

"Get a grip Kurosaki-kun!" Tatsumi told the struggling youth as he helped Tsuzuki hold him back.

"That's what I'm trying to do Tatsumi-san; get a grip, on his neck would be a good place!"

THE DIRECTOR prattled blithely on, "…and the camaraderie that we have established over the last several weeks will be sorely missed."

"He's still wearing my hat!" Gushoshin whined his eyes focused intently on the short squat bald man with no hair. "He's leaving and he's still got my hat!"

**XXX**

"This is the last reel of film."

The elegant man watched as the short squat bald man with no hair threaded the film through the projector. "Are you sure it's not too long?"

THE DIRECTOR shook his head. "Nah, it's just the good-bye scene, ready?"

The elegant man nodded and THE DIRECTOR flicked on the projector.

_The camera focused an a group of smiling shinigami standing together in a close group in front of the doors of Ju-on Cho. In tandem the group all raised their hands and waved. _

The elegant man quirked an inquiring brow at THE DIRECTOR. "Even Hisoka is smiling, how did you manage that?"

"We told him we'd remove the footage of him throwing his towel."

"And that man there, Tatsumi?"

"The checks finally cleared."

"Tsuzuki?"

"Well, you can't see him, but we got a guy over there holding up the biggest chocolate chip cookie you ever saw, and we told Mr. Tsuzuki that if he smiled through the whole good-bye scene, he could have it."

The elegant man laughed lightly at that. "I see. So what about Watari-san there, he looks positively delighted."

"Um, he asked if he could borrow one of our cameras. We told him we'd pick it up in a week."

_The group finally finished waving good-bye and started to leave. Watari grabbed Tatsumi's hand and dragged a rather shocked looking secretary into the building. Terazuma and Wakaba headed off down the path talking softly together. The Gushoshin drifted away, and Kanoe watched to make sure that all the stragglers were headed back to where they were supposed to be._

_Soon only he, Tsuzuki and Hisoka were left. Kanoe faced the pair, and after imparting some great wisdom their way (Get back to work you slacker, Kurosaki, don't let him dawdle too long), he went inside himself._

_Tsuzuki wrapped his arms around a slender waist and pulled his partner up against him._

"_So it's finally over. Did we learn anything?"_

"_Nothing worthwhile," Hisoka stated, wrapping his own arms around Tsuzuki. "Except maybe that you look good in gold and snails can be hazardous to your health."_

_Tsuzuki chuckled softly and pressed a gentle kiss against Hisoka's forehead._

_Hisoka blushed and tried to suppress a smile before pulling out of his partner's arm with a sigh. "I suppose we should get back to work."_

"_Nah, it's been a hectic couple of weeks, we should play hooky for the rest of the day and…" He leaned in close, whispering in Hisoka's ear, causing the empath's eyes to widen and the blush to deepen to a bright crimson._

"_Aww, that's so sweet!" Came the high squeaky voice from off camera._

_Green and violet eyes focused on the camera with surprise. _

"_Get them!" Hisoka pointed at the unwelcomingly interfering film crew._

"_Yes Sir!" Tsuzuki answered, steepling his fingers in front of him and muttering under his breath._

_Several voices cried out in fear and panic, and the scene began to bounce radically as the entire film crew took flight. The camera panned behind them to show several dragons, a giant turtle, a long black flying snake, a faceless cowl, a white tiger, a flaming phoenix and a bouncing pot giving eager chase before the scene went black._

"The taxi has arrived."

The elegant man nodded. "I'll be along in just a minute." He headed back into the screening room where he had left his violin case, he knew that his butler would get the rest of his luggage into the taxi.

As he passed the display cabinet, he once again took out the picture of the blonde and the brunette. It had been eight years since that picture had been taken, eight years since he had spend a day playing tourist with the blonde and he treasured the picture of the two of them. It was the only thing that convinced him that meeting the two shinigami had not been a dream.

"But I didn't have a picture of Tsuzuki…" He muttered aloud to himself, his eyes drifted over to the reels of film stacked in the corner of the room. "I suppose I do now!" Mianse Hijiri grinned to himself as he put the framed picture back onto the shelf and picking up his violin, prepared to leave on his first world tour.

**XXX**

THE DIRECTOR stretched as he left the elegant man's house. That was one of the most interesting assignments he'd ever had. He had almost made his way to his car when something swooped down at his head with frightening speed. The short squat bald man with no hair ducked, and gasped as the hat was snatched off of his head. He looked after the disappearing hat in stunned amazement, then turned back to the house where the butler stood in the doorway.

"Holy crap! Did you see that? It looked like a flying chicken!!"

END

A/N - Eternity's Heir accually managed to guess who the elegant man was, and in a week or two I will begin posting her gift fic, 'Eternity's Prize" (Fitting name, ne?) Thanks for you patience EH!

There is also an honourable mention going out to The Last Unicorn, who also managed to guess right, with several hints. That gotta be worth at least a one-shot. Luv ya Gillie!


End file.
